A Momentous Crisis
by Breakingaway100
Summary: Jude is in the middle of a crisis and moves to New York to get away from all of it. There she meets Tommy and slowly finds her spirit again.
1. The crisis

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Instant star.**_

_This is my first fanfiction, so I would really welcome your review constructive criticism. _

_I had the idea in my head for a long time now and finally found the time to write it down. _

_Summary: After Patsy's dead Jude was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and her father and Darius sent her to New York, where she tries to find herself again. In the process she meets new people, who help her heal again and become her friends and one of them even something more..._

_Have fun reading!_

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'Stupid idea, stupid idea' was the only thought running through Jude's head as she opened yet another box with stuff she had to unpack. Why again had she had the idea to move 3000 miles from home at the age of 17? All alone in a big city with millions of strangers, in a foreign country? Oh yeah, because she felt like she was getting cabin fever at home and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That's why.

It had been beyond question for everyone that she needed a vacation, which of course was highly impractical so shortly before her last year in high-school, but her boss ,Darius the big hip hop mogul, had pulled some strings and she was free to do what she wanted at least for a few months and only if she hired a tutor.

When her father had asked her where she wanted to go, she had seen a report about NY only a day before and decided to go there without any thoughts. It was perfect for her, the language was the same, she had found an apartment easily -although Darius certainly had pulled a few more strings- and she was a nobody in America. What she hadn't considered however was that all the people who could support her would stay behind and she wouldn't only be a nobody, but nothing at all.

The tab driver, who had driven her from the airport to her apartment hadn't even helped her lifting her luggage into the trunk. At least the moving company had already brought all her stuff into her new apartment and they had even set up her furniture and she only had to put her things into the right places.

She opened the next box and stopped dead in her tracks, on top of what seemed to be her albums and her journals laid a CD, carefully picking it up she stared at it intently. The title said 'Shooting Star' and the picture was of a girl screaming into a microphone, her hair flying wildly around her. 'Patsy'! She was the reason for her dilemma, for her almost breakdown.

She had worked for the same record company as Jude and they had hit it off from the beginning. Patsy had been different from other girls in the business, she had been...well there was only one word to describe her: crazy. She hadn't cared about what other people thought and had only done what she'd liked. Jude had somehow envied her for her independence and had enjoyed spending time with her, as then she'd felt free herself, all her worries had been blown away by the wind in her hair when they sped down the highway.

Sadly this independence had cost Patsy her life, as the record company had changed her song into a more mainstreaming one, when Patsy had found out she had been pissed and had got drunk with Jude on her tail. They had spent the day together and Patsy had seemed fine again, until they had met Patsy's ex-boyfriend Jamie, who had been Jude's best friend back then. Then Patsy had taken off again, this time alone and had ended wrapped around a pylon. This had made Jude doubt everything she had ever known, Jamie's accusation that she was to blame for Patsy's dead had made her even doubt herself.

In the end she hadn't even known anymore if her songs were really what she wanted them to be or if she had let herself been manipulated by what other people wanted to hear. Was she also a victim of the industry? She hadn't been able to answer that question and it had preyed on her mind. So much that she hadn't been able to sleep anymore let alone write songs.

A few weeks after Patsy's funeral she had only been a shadow of herself and her father had drawn a line and had contacted Darius and her school to give her a break. A week later her father and Darius had arranged everything and her father and sister had sat her in a plane to New York.

Jude glanced at the CD for the last time and put it back into the box, before heaving the box under her bed, where it would stay until she made up her mind, if she would return to the music industry or quit. Because she had told Darius from the beginning that she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to record again, not when she had seen what the industry could make out of a person.

After finishing unpacking two hours later, having all her music equipment put under her bed or in the back of her closet, she felt exhausted on her new couch and closed her eyes, feeling all her muscles relax and the fatigue from the last day day drain from her, she felt in a deep slumber.

When Jude opened her eyes again, she was disorientated and needed a minute to figure out where she was. She slowly got up and stretched, glancing at the clock on her TV, she cursed and grabbed her phone from the couch table. She had promised to call Sadie as soon as she had finished packing and now it was already 10 pm. She opened her phone and surely there were 7 missed calls from Sadie and Kwest. She quickly dialled the familiar number and waited.

"Jude Elizabeth Harrison, where the hell were you? I was freaking worried." came the hysteric voice of her sister out of the phone. "I've waited hours for your call. I thought you were lying in some gutter injured or dead."

"Hello to you too." Jude said interrupting her sister's nervous rambling.

She heard Sadie taking a deep breath and then replying in a calmer voice.

"Sorry, Jude. I was just freaked out." She explained. "How are you? How was your flight? Are you already finished?"

"I'm okay, just tired and hungry. The flight was okay, you know first class is really growing on me." Jude said and Sadie chuckled, relaxing again, and listened to her sister telling her about her first few hours in New York. From what she could hear, Jude was missing them, but she was sure she would eventually be fine and have a great time and would hopefully find her spirit in the progress again.


	2. A new start

Jude stood at her window a few weeks later, looking out into the mild summer night. She had stood there often over the weeks, listening to the noise of the city under her and thinking about her life and when she had lost control over it.

Had it been the night when these destructive photos had been taken? Or the first time she hadn't chosen the music she would sing, but had had to sing a cover? Or maybe the day she found out her father, her only constant supporter of her dream, had betrayed her and her family? Or even at the very beginning, when she had to rewrite her song to make it more suitable for her album? For sure was somewhere there she had lost herself and had never even realized it until Patsy's death had opened her eyes.

The shock that someone's life could go to pieces like that, had made her realize that it was important to know what you want. And she hadn't known it. When she was younger she always wanted to become a famous singer and with Instant star she had got the opportunity which she had taken and so had made her dreams comes true. But what came then? What were her dreams now? To make good music? But was the music she thought was good really good or did she only thought it was good because others told her so? Was she like a puppet on a string?

This thought terrified her and she decided it was time to change her life to find herself. What had Spied said again in one of his brighter moments, when she had told him she would take a break? 'You know what is really cool, Dude? There you can define yourself again. Nobody will think: This is the girl, who drank underage. You can make new impressions.'

And she was going to do just that. She was going to be the Jude she always wanted to be without someone criticizing her and without worrying about what others thought. And when she had found herself again, then she would decide if music was really what she wanted. Until then she would wouldn't think about making music. Because how could she make good music that she totally supported, when she didn't even now who she was?

Hearing loud voices from the bar across the street, she decided that now was as good as ever to start. Because in her new life Jude needed people, who loved her like she was, without the music and the hype about her person. And where could you meet new people better than in a bar?

It was a Friday night and the bar was jam-packed, every booth was filled with people. Jude made her way to the bar and seated herself on a stool and ordered a coke. The air smelled of smoke and different kinds of perfumes. She took a sip of her drink and turned around. Everyone was with someone else and they didn't seem to notice her at all. Great, she hadn't thought meeting new people would be this hard. Normally they recognized her and came to her and asked about her music or something. She had never done the first step before.

Should she just accost someone? Or wait until maybe someone came to her? But that would take hours on the face of it.

Argh, where came this insecurity from? She wasn't used to it. Was this how she would be from now on? Insecure and debating over everything in her head? Was that how the real Jude was, without her fame or influential people around her? Maybe this bar was a bad idea after all.

She was about to pay for her drink when she felt a presence next to her. It was a young man with blondish hair and and blue eyes. He seemed to be really stylish with his perfectly fitting jeans and his colour-coordinated shoes and t-shirt. He wasn't her type, but she accorded him the seat next to her regardless.

"So what is a young lady like yourself doing here all alone?" He asked sipping on his beer and watching her.

"Is that your best pick-up line?" Jude asked raising her eyebrow and cursing herself inwardly. She hadn't thought about what she would do if she only met guys, who wanted to get into her pants.

"It wasn't supposed to be a pick-up line. Just my curiosity speaking."

"Sure." Jude said disbelieved turning around again.

"It's the truth. You seemed lonely and I thought I could change that."

"If you only want in my pants? Piss off."

"Huh, feisty." the guy smirked. "I actually thought more about talking."

"Talking?"

"Yeah and maybe a bit drinking." He added.

"You won't try to get into my pants?"

"No, I won't .Of course if you want, I' won't be opposed." Jude glared at him and turned to the door. "No trying to get into your pants. I promise." He raised his hand showing her two fingers.

"Okay." Jude sat down again and ordered a new coke.

"Okay. I'm Owen by the way."

"I'm Jude." She held out her hand and he shook it.

"So back to my question. What brought you here on a Friday night?"

"Life." She answered simply.

"Life?"

"Yeah." Jude took another sip." And yourself?"

"My girlfriend." he admitted, causing Jude to choke on her drink.

"You flirted with me, even thought you have a girlfriend?"

"I didn't try to flirt with you." He said desperately.

"Right... So what's with your girlfriend"

"She's away for the week-end and I didn't know what to do with myself." he explained.

"No friends?"

"My best friend is a workaholic and is still working and my other friend has the disadvantage that he works with him, so he has to stay as well."

"Oh okay." She remembered how she used to stay at the studio until late in the night, often she stayed behind everyone else, even her producer, Jack, left before her. She just loved the quietness and solitariness of the building at night, nobody would disturb her in her own little world and she could work as she liked.

"You don't want to tell me what exactly brought you here?" Owen asked.

"Well, I decided to change."

"So you went to a bar?"

"Yes."

"That's logical." He said sarcastically.

"I wanted to meet new people." She huffed.

"And that you did." Owen smiled.

"Yeah. But I'm not so sure you are what I imagined." Jude retorted, looking him up and down.

"Well, who is now the one suggesting something?" Jude rolled her eyes. "So what did you imagine? A better looking guy, because then you'll have to wait a long time."

"I actually pictured a girl." Jude said, causing Owen's eyes to widen.

"Oh." He chuckled nervously. "Well, I didn't know you were...ugh... that way. You know, from the other side."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't realize you were a lesbian, sorry." He ran his hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly.

"What is wrong with being a lesbian?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was just... I..."

"You are just shocked, you were attracted by a lesbian?" Jude asked amused watching Owen squirm.

"Yeah." He admitted looking as if he was shocked by his own answer.

"It can happen." She patted him on the shoulder supporting and smiled reassuringly.

They sat together in silence. Owen apparently still in disbelief that he was attracted by a girl, who he thought was a lesbian.

"And just for the record. I'm not a lesbian." Jude said, causing Owen's head to whip around.

"You're not?"

"No." Jude shook her head.

"Thank God." Owen sighed in relief. "Not that it would have been bad, but it would have felt weird seeing my girlfriend again and knowing that I had been attracted by a lesbian."

"You would have told her?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe. She usually senses it when something is buggering me and then I would have had to tell her." Owen shrugged and Jude nodded.

"So why did you picture a girl?" asked Owen, coming out of his state of shock.

Jude shrugged clueless. "I don't really know. I guess, because I only have guy friends at home and thought maybe I could find a girlfriend here."

Owen nodded in understanding, but then frowned.

"You have only guy friends at home, where is home?"

"Toronto, Canada. I just moved here two weeks ago." Jude explained.

"For work?"

"No, the opposite. To get a break. I'm only here for a few months, I have to be home for graduation."

"Okay. You're still in high school?" He asked, noticing now that the woman in front of him really seemed to still be very young. She guessed that she was at least a few years younger than him.

"Yeah. I'm in my last year." She replied.

"So you're 18?"

"No, 17, but in a few months I'll be 18."

"I have very fond memories of high school. There I--" He was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. "Sorry." he excused himself and walked into a quiet corner.

Jude looked after him, her first impression of him had been wrong, he was a decent guy and a good listener, too. She laughed, as she remembered his face when he thought she was a lesbian. This Jude she liked more. This Jude was witty, feisty and had fun. She was a bit like the Jude in Toronto, only that she hadn't once thought about any tabloids that could credit her yet again with a new relationship and she definitely hadn't thought about what Darius would think.

"Sorry, I have to go." said a smooth voice behind her and she turned to an apologetic looking Owen.

"No problem." She replied, realizing she herself had to go soon, as her tutor would come by tomorrow at 9 am.

"If you want and can maybe replace the image of a girl with one of a guy, we could continue this conversation tomorrow, maybe over dinner?" Owen suggested.

Should she do that? She hadn't planned to meet a guy. But he was nice and didn't pry like a girl would certainly do. Maybe he could introduce her to some decent girls?

Argh, here she was debating again. Didn't she want to stop that? And why had she pictured a girl anyway? Hadn't she decided to just see where this might go?

"Sure. Where should we meet?"

"I have to work tomorrow, so you can come there." He pulled a paper out of his jeans and Jude searched in her purse for a pen and handed it to him

He gave her the paper, after he wrote on it. "This is the address. When can you come?"

"Around 6?"

"Okay. I really have to go now." He waved and hurried out of the bar. Jude stood up as well, payed for her drink and left.

Back in her apartment she slipped off her shoes and flopped down on her couch. She was exhausted, it had been harder to meet a new person than she thought, but she felt they were on a good way and she knew she had made a big step towards finding herself today. Because not for nothing is the saying: A fault confessed is half redressed.

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So that was my second chapter. I hope you liked it. A want to thank everyone, who has reviewed for the last chapter.

I've never understood why people said reviews make theiir day, but it's true they really make your day. Every possibility I go online and check for new reviews. So please review!!


	3. Meeting Tommy

"Hey, I'm Jude. Could you tell me where I can find Owen?" Jude asked the blond secretary in front of her. Jude watched nervously as she slowly typed something and chewed on her gum bored. She wasn't that nervous about meeting Owen, no she liked him and had accepted that the first person she had met here was a guy. What was wrong about that? Maybe it was even better, at least she knew how to handle guys. Patsy, her only girlfriend, hadn't been exactly the ordinary girly-type. Kat had been, maybe, but Jude always had been closer to Jamie at the time and so they never had this real girlfriend-thing going on. No she wasn't nervous about meeting Owen, it was the company he was working at. When she had stepped out of her taxi in front of this enormous building and had looked up at the big letters over the door, that said: Jayson Record, she had got the shock of her life. What were the odds that Owen of all people worked for a recording company? So much for not thinking about music.

"He is in studio 6." said the secretary, letting the chewing-gum bubble pop. Jude thanked her and walked to the elevator. Jayson Records was bigger than G-Major, it had 3 levels and no studio's at the ground floor, therefor 6 on each level.

She stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the first floor. During the ride she glanced at herself in the metallized walls. She didn't wear something fancy, only her tight ripped jeans and her Sum 41 concert shirt. She hadn't even applied make-up except a bit of mascara.

The door dinged and she stepped out, she was really hoping that everything would run smoothly and she could spent some laid back hours with a nice guy.

The hallway was completely empty and quiet, only from one room with the door slightly ajar she could hear some noises. Turning left she stood in front of studio 6 and knocked.

"Come in." said a voice, sounding stressed out. Jude opened the door and stepped in.

In front of the soundboard sat two men, one was Owen and the other one had dark gelled hair and had turned his back to Jude.

"Hey." Owen whispered and waved Jude towards him. "We're just in the middle of a recording session. We had some problems over the day."

"No problem. I'll wait here."

"You sure. It can take a while. We could maybe meet tomorrow again." Owen suggested. He was frustrated, he had really looked forward to spending time with Jude, but then today of all day the soundboard had to break down and the engineer had to come and fix it delaying the session for hours.

"No, I can wait. If it's okay. I'll be quiet." Owen nodded and Jude sat down on the couch in the corner. She put down her bag next to her and listened to the singer. He was pretty good and Jude could hear that he was very experienced and knew how to use his voice to convoy his emotions. The second chorus had just started when the man next to Owen pushed the intercom button.

"Leon. Can you please stop stretching the 'make' like that. You have to sing it short and put the stress on the 'I'" The singer nodded and started from the top. The man ran his hand over his face and sighed. He seemed to be very stiff and exhausted from what Jude could make out as he had not once looked into her direction.

It went on like this for two hours. The man, Tommy as Jude understood from the conversation between him and Owen, seemed to never be satisfied and stopped the track each time and the singer had to do the song from the top at least 5 times and Jude felt for him. But Jude could tell that Tommy and Owen both knew what they were doing and at the end, the song sounded way better than the version Jude had heard when she had entered. They dismissed the singer, who took off gratefully, and leaned back.

Owen turned his head to Jude.

"Sorry, that it took so long." He apologized. "You still want to go out?"

"Sure." Jude stood up and stretched. "You want to come with us?" She approached Tommy, who turned to her in surprise.

"Ah, no. Thank you. I want to get this finished tonight." He smiled shortly at her and then turned back around again, the headphones over his ears.

Owen looked at him and Jude saw the worry in his eyes. "You should take a break, T. You're here since 8 am and you've been here last night, too." He said, causing Tommy to sigh irritable and ran his hand through his hair.

"Jayson wants to have this song by tomorrow, you know the album is already behind schedule and people start calling Leon an one hit wonder." He exclaimed and Owen nodded.

"Maybe we should reschedule our dinner, Jude." Owen proposed reluctantly. "If I help Tommy, we will get this done tonight."

"Okay." She agreed and grabbed her bag, but then paused. "I have a better idea. How about we order some burgers and fries and eat here? You both seem like you could use something to eat and you could work at the same time."

"I'm really sorry about this, but you don't have to do that." Owen replied. "I'm sure you got better things to do than watching us work."

"I have nothing to do, you're the only person I know, remember?"

"Okay, but just to warn you it is really boring to watch." Owen said, but Jude only shrugged. She had always liked watching Jack mix her songs. To see the song she had worked on for hours being formed into something so perfect, was always magical. Of course it was something different to watch your own song being mixed than watch it be done for someone else song, but still she was sure she would find it anything but boring.

"I don't think so, but thank you for the warning." Jude pulled out her cell phone and dialled the number for the restaurant she had found on her first sigh-seeing tour through New York. "So what do you want guys?"

20 Minutes later their food was delivered and they immediately dig into it and groaned in satisfaction.

"This was really a good idea, Jude." Owen told her and Tommy nodded in agreement.

"Are you guys always working this long?"

"Me not, but Tommy is a workaholic and never quits." Owen replied and received a glare from Tommy.

"Ah, then you're the guy, who left Owen with nothing to do than harass poor innocent girls in bars."

"I didn't flirt with you and I definitely didn't harass you." Owen replied desperately. He hadn't any feelings for Jude and definitely didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend, she was the love of his life he had known that from the first moment they had met. It might sound cheesy to some people, but it was the truth.

Yesterday had just been a crap day for him, he had listened to Tommy and Leon discussing lyrics for hours, a process he couldn't really take part in and then he had had to bring Sarah to the airport, a thing he didn't like at all especially now that she was pregnant. So he had gone to the bar he had frequented often in his younger years and had spotted Jude. She had looked like she needed someone to talk to and that's why he had approached her.

Maybe he had been a bit to forward to invite her to dinner and she had misinterpreted his intention, but they were pure. Maybe it had been that his fatherly instincts had already kicked in, he had had, however, the feeling to protect this girl. She wasn't even 18, yet and alone in a big city. Only god knew across what persons she could come here and from what she had told him she really wanted to make new friends and so was an easy victim for all kind of bad guys.

Jude rolled her eyes. "Sure, keep telling that yourself." Tommy chuckled for what he felt was the first time in days. So shortly before the deadline he was always stressed and tetchy. He knew that especially Owen was worried about him, but he just was a perfectionist, he always had been. But he was grateful for the little distraction Jude brought with her.

He really liked this girl, she was different from the other girls he had met in New York, she had this air of innocence and natural beauty around her.

First when Owen had told him that he had met a girl and that she would come to work, he hadn't been thrilled. Foremost, because Sarah, was a very lovely woman and in Tommy's opinion the perfect one for Owen. Sarah and Owen had met in high-school and were together since. More than 10 years by now. Tommy didn't like the idea about Owen ruining something rare like that over a flirt in a bar. Beside that he had been pissed because every time him or Leon had brought a girl with them to watch the session, they couldn't stop talking and most of them kept throwing themselves at Tommy during it. It wasn't like Owen had said it, that he only worked, he only had new priorities here in New York. He still went out occasionally and when he was at parties he always brought a girl home with him, old habits die hard. But he didn't need women anymore like he used to, he could forgo all this willing woman, who only were after his fame. He had that often enough back in his boy band days. And he assuredly didn't need them during the album's final recording session.

Jude, however stayed quiet during the session and didn't draw any attention to her and then she had even ordered in without any complains, so that they could finish mixing. Moreover she messed with Owen and loosened the tension that had arisen the more stressed they had become.

"I think we should start mixing now." Owen said looking at the clock on the wall. It was already 9 pm and they still hadn't started yet. "You sure you don't want to go?" He asked addressing himself to Jude.

"If you keep saying that I'll change my mind and go." She retorted.

"No." called Tommy and Owen at the same time, causing Jude to grin. The guys turned to the soundboard again and reran the tape. They listened to it and changed the adjustment here and there. Jude always was fascinated by how one simple thing could make the song be a hit or a flop. She listened closely for a few minutes until she heard a sound that didn't belong to the song.

_If I was a drift on an ocean all alone  
You came and rescued me  
When I was far from home  
Rush of love around my heart  
Just as I fell apart_

She cursed under her breath and rummaged around in her bag for her cell phone. Tommy had stopped the track and both guys were watching her with raised eyebrow.

_Nobody ever cared as much for me (as much for me)  
Nobody's touched my heart and healed my pain  
You've picked up the pieces and put me back together again _

"I'm sorry, it's my sister." Jude explained, pulling out her phone and took the call.

"It's really not a great moment to call me, Sades." She hissed.

"Why? You're in bed with some hot guy?" Sadie snorted. "What happened to dignity, Jude?"

"You're hilarious. Really." Jude sarcastically. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay. You haven't called in days."

"I'm fine. I just hadn't the time to call." Jude replied now in a softer voice. She knew that her sister was worried about her. She had taken over the role of a mother after their real mother had disappeared with her divorce lawyer towards Europe and now Jude was for the first time since then away from home for longer than a few days and she could imagine how Sadie must feel.

"Okay. Call me tomorrow anyway, will you?" Sadie asked and Jude agreed. "Great, then I'll let you continue to do whatever or whoever you are doing."

"Sadie!" Jude whined and heard her sister laugh.

"Bye, Jude."

"Bye, Sades." They hung up and Jude put her cell phone back into her bag and turned to the boys again.

"I'm really sorry, I forgot to turn my phone off." Jude apologized, but the guys kept staring at her and she had this weird feeling you got when everyone is staring at you and you don't know why.

"Do I have something on my face?" She asked rubbing on the corners of her mouth for any traces of her burger.

"No, sorry." Owen shrugged out of his stare and this seemed to bring Tommy out as well.

"So what was it?" Jude demanded to know.

"It was just..." Tommy scratched on the back of her head. "your...ugh...ring tone."

Jude laughed. "Did it freak you out? It's from some Canadian boy band, they were all shiny wannabe musicians in my opinion, but they were pretty popular there. And my sister loved them and I chose the ring tone to remind me of all the stupid things she did in her teenage years." Jude explained. "And there were many of them."

Owen laughed and patted Tommy on his shoulder. "Don't worry then, T. You didn't meet a Boys Attacker again. Although I found them quite entertaining." Tommy scowled and turned back to the soundboard.

Jude looked back and forth between Tommy and Owen, she had no idea what they were talking about. "Can someone please explain me what is going on?"

"The champ over here." Owen pointed at Tommy. "He was one of these shinny wannabe musicians, like you called them."

Jude turned to Tommy, she had met all of the members of Boys Attack before for this charity thing Chaz organized, but she had never met Tommy. That could only mean that...

"Oh, my god. You're little Tommy Q." She exclaimed causing Tommy to cringe and whirl around.

"Don't you ever call me Little Tommy Q again. The name is Tom Quincy or Tommy Q." Tommy snapped at her and Jude's eyes widened.

"Sorry." She muttered quietly and bit on her lip. Tommy relaxed visibly at her intimidated expression and took a deep breath.

"No, it's okay. I just don't like the name. It's not a part of my past I'm proud of." Not that there were any parts he was proud of, only in his recent past had he felt like he did some good things and achieved something in his life, but that were things Jude didn't need to know.

"Okay." Jude nodded and they all turned back to what they did before Sadie's call. Owen and Tommy to mixing and Jude to listening.

Now that Jude looked at Tommy more closely she could see in him the boy, who's photos had hung all over the walls in her sister's room. He had aged of course, he looked more mature, but he still had that dangerous style going that had fascinated thousand of girls. Moreover, he was a producer now and even a very talented one as she found and the fact that he worked for one of the world's biggest recording companies proved.

She shook her head in disbelief never had she thought she would meet Little Tommy Q and then even didn't find him repulsive. But she did just that, even though he was a bit grumpy at the moment, she could understand that, however, even Jack, the most laid-back producer in the world, got stressed so close to the deadline.

Jude made herself more comfortable on the couch, pulling her legs to her chest and entwined her arms around her knees. She watched Tommy and Owen discussing something and felt her eyes grow heavy. A few moments later she was fast asleep.

Tommy listened to the song one more time and then stretched. Finally, they were finished. With Owen's help they had managed it before midnight. He felt all the tension in his body disappear and tiredness taking over. He looked over at Owen, who looked exactly like he felt.

"You look like you have been run over by a truck." He smirked.

"I feel like it, too. But I think you look worse." Owen replied. "I think it is time for us to go home." He added. "Jude, how do you--" He stopped talking when he saw Jude lying on the couch in fetal position. "I guess there is someone who was more tired than us." He said and Tommy turned to Jude as well.

"Looks like it." He nodded. "Can you bring her home?"

"I took the subway today Can you take her?" Owen said and looked at Tommy pleadingly.

"Okay." He agreed and turned off the soundboard. They both stood up and Owen walked to Jude. He scrunched down next to her and shook her slightly on her shoulder. She mumbled something incoherently and turned her head.

"Jude." He shook her again. "Jude, wake up. It's time to go home." Jude opened her eyes sleepy and squinted her eyes against the bright light.

"What?" She asked rubbing her eyes and then sitting up stretching her arms over her head.

"We're finished." Owen said standing up again and holding out a hand for Jude to help her up. She took it and grabbed her bag.

"Did it go well?"

"Better than expected." Replied Tommy holding the door open for her and letting her step into the hallway.

The boys followed her down the hallway and then into the elevator. They all waited in silence for the elevator to open its door again, they were too tired to talk.

Once outside the building Jude looked out for a taxi. At this hour of the night there weren't that many on the streets anymore and the recording company lay in a quieter part of the city, so the chances that she would find one soon were paltry.

She sighed and waited, she almost forgot that she wasn't alone until someone grabbed her hand and pulled her to the parking lot.

"What are you doing, Tommy?" She asked irritated and looked back at Owen, who waved her goodbye and then disappeared around the corner.

"I'm taking you home." Tommy said and opened the door to his passenger seat for her. She stared at the gorgeous car in front of her. It was one of these blue sports cars she had always wanted to ride in. She liked the rush you got when you drove the highway with full speed. She had done it once in a Ferrari and had dreamed of doing it again since.

"Nice car, Quincy." She said and got in.

"Thanks." Tommy rounded the car and got in as well. Jude gave him her address and he accelerated, speeding off the parking lot and onto the highway.

"Thanks for the ride." She said as they had stopped in front of her apartment and opened the door.

"No problem." Tommy watched her get out and close the door again. He waved her as she turned around again before entering her apartment building and then drove off again.

* * *

_First I want to thank PlayedByLife, ShadyLady21 and Cylann for their reviews, I really appreciate them._

_Second: So Jude finally met Tommy. I had some problems to write it, but I hope you like it nonetheless. If you do please review, If you don't review and if you don't know wether you like it or not review anyway. Please. _

_I think the next chapter will take some time, because school starts tomorrow again, so I'll probably update next week-end._

_Breakingaway.  
_


	4. Feeling at ease

"So what are you doing tonight?" Sadie asked her sister on one of her phone calls. It still wasn't easy for her that her little sister was so far away from home, even after almost 2 months.

"I'm meeting Tommy again." Jude replied casually.

"Tommy?" Sadie asked astonished. Jude had never told her about some guy named Tommy and now she sounded like meeting him wasn't all that special, like she had done that many times.

"You remember the guy I met at a bar?"

"Yeah. But I thought his name was Oliver or something."

"Owen, but Tommy is his friend. I met him when I visited Owen at work. He is really nice and has quite a notion of music." Jude explained.

"And now you're meeting him frequently?" Sadie asked further.

"Yes, we exchanged numbers at one point and with Owen's girlfriend being back, we two got closer and somehow ended at meeting at each others place."

"You two got closer? Like really close?" Sadie teased.

"We're just friends Sadie." Jude exclaimed annoyed. Sometimes her sister could really get on her nerves. Tommy and her were friends. Maybe best friends even, as he was the only friend she had in New York. Owen and her got along as well, but he was naturally always with his pregnant girlfriend and so they couldn't form some kind of deep friendship. He was more of a buddy.

With Tommy it was something more. When they had met for the second time, at Owen's place this time, he was in a better mood, the weight from the deadline was off his shoulder and he was more relaxed and they had instantly connected. They had talked about music the whole evening, barely registering their surroundings. They had exchanged numbers then and had talked on a daily basis since. Although Jude hadn't told him yet that she was a singer, and she wasn't sure if she ever would, as her career didn't affect her life in New York at all, she told him her opinion on his artists. When he had asked why she had such an appreciation for music, she had simply told him that she liked music very much and played the guitar and he had believed her. Why wouldn't he though? It wasn't as if you always thought 'Oh my god maybe he/she is a rockstar' when you meet somebody, who has some knowledge of music.

That's why he sometimes called her during a recording session when he was stuck and needed a fresh opinion. Jude didn't mind it at all. It didn't break her intention to not think about music, as it wasn't her own or that was what she told herself.

Once when they were talking again, Tommy had suggested that she should come over to his place, because it would be easier to talk there. Jude had been surprised, but had agreed nonetheless and had hailed a taxi to bring her there. Tommy of course lived in some fancy building with doorman and marble tiles and everything. His apartment looked also like it came right out of catalogue, everything matched. The painting and the counters, the curtains and the pillows, the pictures and plants. Everything was perfect and it was all were it belonged, nothing was out of place. A state Jude's apartment had never been in. She liked it however, it screamed Tommy the perfectionist. Maybe it was a bit to impersonal, as there were no photos and the tardiness made it look like nobody lived there, but his scent lingering in the air a mix of his aftershave, his cologne and his own personal scent, something between coffee and leather, made it the home of Tom Quincy.

There they had talked some more and then had settled on watching a film and eat take out and somehow it became a routine of them. Every evening when they had nothing else to do, what was for Jude almost everyday, they would meet at an apartment, rotating between Tommy's and Jude's, and would watch a movie and eat take-out.

Today they would be at hers and Jude was about to tidy up a little bit when Sadie had called.

"Okay, I just was asking. Take care of yourself, will you?"

"I will. Sadie I promise.

"Call soon. Bye."

"Bye." She hang up and turned up the volume of her music again and danced around the room, picking up the things on her living-room floor and put them back where they belonged or trash them

Tommy knocked on the door again, but nobody opened. It wasn't really a surprise that she didn't hear him with the music coming loudly from behind the door. He was already a little late, not that Jude would care for she had a habit of coming too late as well, as he had found out over the time.

It was shocking that he only met Jude 5 weeks ago, it felt like much longer. The movie nights with her were always the highlight of his week. He couldn't remember the last time he had finished work so often on time like he did now. Thank god he wasn't under any time pressure at the moment and could actually do it without putting his job at risk. Owen was thankful, too, with Tommy leaving he could go home as well and take care of Sarah.

He would never admit it, but he always used to be jealous of Owen. Every time Owen would go home to Sarah after a long day of work, he had to go home to his cold apartment with nothing waiting for him no warm dinner, no person being there for him or just listening to him talk, nothing. That was one of the reasons he enjoyed spending time with Jude so much. He always sped home in his car, so that he could change quickly and go to Jude's or so he could prepare his apartment for her arrival. Of course another reason was her personality. She was easy-going, didn't pry, didn't take crap from anyone, he was no exception so he had listened to many of her witty retorts to his cockiness, she had a good taste in music and always some advice for him when he was stuck, and needless to say you couldn't deny her beauty. Once when she had been at his apartment, she had lied on his couch as they had talked and she had looked up at him through her lashes with her big blue eyes and he had felt the air rushed out of his lungs. She had looked so pure, so beautiful, so...innocent.

That night, as he had lied in his bed after Jude was gone, had been the first time he had thought that maybe their friendship wouldn't be good for her. The conversations on the phone had been innocent, they didn't do any harm, but as soon as he had invited her to his apartment it had changed. He was no innocence. Even though he had no intention to harm her, he knew he would eventually. He always did. He had already hurt so many people in his life, that one more or less wouldn't make the difference, but she was only 17, she was still in high school and had her whole life before her.

Normally he didn't care as long as he got what he wanted, but Jude deserved better than him, he wasn't a good friend and he knew that she needed one. Something had already broken her spirit in the past, he saw the pain in her eyes sometimes, when she thought he didn't look and he knew that if he would hurt her, he would break her completely. And he couldn't do that, but he also couldn't stay away from Jude, her presence in his life was too important for him, so he had been selfish, like he always was, and he had visited her the next day as if nothing was wrong and of course she hadn't expected anything, she didn't know him long enough to read his eyes that well and he never had a problem with fooling people, he could be very convincing when he wanted.

Tommy still didn't hear anything except the music from Jude's apartment and decided to look for a key. He lifted the doormat, but nothing. Then he felt around for the key on the top of the door frame and soon felt the cold metal beneath his fingers. He put the key into the lock and turned it. Carefully he opened the door and stepped in, the music came from the living-room. He took off his shoes and hang his leather jacket on the chair next to the door. He shook his head as he saw the chaos on it, Jude definitely was the messiest person he had ever met. Sometimes he wondered how she could ever find anything to him it seemed impossible.

Bryan Adams 'Everything I do, I do it for you' started playing and he made his way to the living-room. The sight that greeted him there wasn't one he had expected. Jude was dancing around, only clad in some blue sweatpants and a white tank top and with her eyes clothes. She was singing along with the song using the rolled magazine in her hand as a microphone. He chuckled and leaned on the frame, watching her shake her butt to the rhythm and waiting for her to notice him.

As soon as the first chords of 'I do it for you' started to fill the room, Jude abandoned the mess on the floor and started to sing along with all her heart. Bryan Adams and especially this song was her guilty pleasure, she had watched Robin Hood: Prince of thieves multiple times only because of it. And it had been the first song she had taught herself on the guitar. She whirled around, she swayed a bit as she saw someone leaning on her door frame and tried to stop herself by grabbing on the back of her couch. Standing on her feet steadily again, she looked up again and looked into the blue eyes of Tommy glimmering with amusement. She blushed and walked to the CD-Player to turn off the music. Then she turned to Tommy again.

"I didn't hear you coming in."

"That would have been impossible with the music that loud." He smirked and she blushed more.

"Yeah, how did you come in anyway?" She asked walking past him into the kitchen. His eyes made her uncomfortable. How she couldn't have noticed his eyes the first time they had met, was a mystery to her. They were so blue and always full of emotions, even when he seemed relaxed on the outside his eyes always gave them away. And she sometimes like they could see right through her and into her very soul.

"You had your spare key on the door frame." He explained following her. "Not very imaginative by the way. 50% of all people hide their keys there, the rest have them under the door mat."

"And where should I hide it then, Mr. Know-it-all?" She asked turning to him exasperated.

"I don't know." She huffed and took two bottles of beer out of the fridge, gave one to Tommy and walked back into the living-room. "Why do you need a key outside anyway, you have one in your purse."

"What is if I lose it or forget it inside? Not everyone has a doorman with all the keys, Tommy." She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in frustration, and sat down on the couch, Tommy beside her.

"What if you gave it to me? Then you could call me, when you can't come in." Tommy suggested and Jude looked at him in surprise. Giving her key to him seemed like such a couple thing to do. It would be saver however, especially at night. And it was then that she most thought about how alone she was and then to think that anybody could find her key and get in had cost her some nights of sleep, but what could she have done differently? She had the vice to always lose her keys. Maybe giving Tommy the key would be the solution. But then Tommy could get in at any times without her knowing and that could be awkward as well. What if he walked in when she was just out of the shower or in her ugliest underwear?

"I wouldn't use it to come in unannounced, of course." He clarified. "Only to get you in or when you choose to ignore my knocks, because you're shaking your butt to Bryan Adams." He added and Jude swatted him playfully.

"Hey, I'm not the one, who used to shake their butt to some cheesy Pop-songs, Mr. Pick-up-the-pieces." She said.

"What's with the name-calling, today?" He asked.

"What you can't take it? Does it bruise your oversized ego?" She replied mockingly and Tommy rolled his eyes.

"No, it takes more than that to hurt my ego and it isn't oversized." This caused Jude to snort and Tommy chuckled at the unladylike noise. "You know what? Maybe I'll take it back and come unannounced, then I can see you in you underwear, because if the sweatpants are any indicator, then I totally want to see the rest of your underwear selection."

"You wouldn't dare." Jude glared at him, but Tommy didn't waver, but just stared back.

"Try me."

"Tommy." She launched herself at him, pushing him flat with his back on the couch. "Give me the key." She straddled him and searched his pockets for it. "Where is it?" She rummaged in his pants pocket.

Tommy chuckled at her desperateness. "Not there, but if you keep doing that, you'll find something hard and I can assure you it won't be made out of metal." Tommy said and Jude stopped moving her hands. She looked at him, noticing how close he was, and then back at her hands in his pockets, who were very near his...ugh...equipment. She blushed furiously and removed her hands quickly and then slipped off his lap to the floor. She bit her bottom lip and looked everywhere, but him.

"It's in my coat pocket." Tommy said from the coach, now sitting again.

"Huh?" She looked at him confused.

"The key. I put it into the pocket of my leather jacket. It's on the chair next to your door." He explained pointing to the hallway.

"Okay." Jude nodded and turned around to look for it, just as the bell rang. "I'll get it. It's our dinner." She called and opened the door. It was indeed the guy from the Chinese restaurant, where they ordered frequently.

A few minutes later Jude came back into the living-room with a bag full of dinner. She put it down and sat next to Tommy again.

They ate their Chicken Mango for a few minutes in comfortable silence.

"You can have the key." Jude broke the silence.

"You sure?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah."

"And you know, I wouldn't come just in. I was only mocking you." He reassured her.

"Really? I thought you meant it." Jude said sarcastically, shoving him playfully, causing Tommy to roll his eyes. Jude was really something else.

"So which movie do you want to watch tonight?" Tommy asked, picking up a piece of chicken with his chop sticks and let it fall into his mouth.

"Didn't we want to finish the Bourne trilogy?" She asked and Tommy nodded. "Then Bourne Ultimatum, okay?"

"Sure." Tommy got up and pulled the DVD out of her staple of DVD and put it in. The movie started and he sat back down on the couch. They both had now finished their Chicken and Jude curled up next to him with her feet on his lap, like she always did.

They fell into silence once again only disturbed by Jude's occasional squeals. She loved Action-movies, but she couldn't help it to squeal every time someone did something dangerous or fought with someone. At the beginning Tommy had found it somewhat annoying, but he had got used to it and now didn't even notice it anymore or when he did found it very entertaining.

Jude really tried to focus on the scenes on the TV, but she couldn't. Tommy was slowly caressing her calf with his fingertips and it sent shock waved through her body, ,making it unable for her to focus. Suddenly she noticed that Tommy was only touching a little part of her calf again and again and looked up. Tommy had stopped watching the movie as well and was now staring on her calf, as she looked at what exactly he was looking she saw the little 'J'. He traced it and ran his hand over it. When he felt her eyes on him, he looked up.

"I've never noticed you had a tattoo." He stated.

"I usually wear jeans." She explained.

"Does it stand for Jude?" He asked looking down at the 'J' and then at her again.

"No, it stands for Jamie, he was my best friend since we were in kindergarten. He has the same on his shoulder or I think he still does. We've got it when we were 16." There was this pained look again.

"You said was. What happened to him?" Tommy asked with a cautiousness, Jude hadn't thought possible from him, but she was glad. Jamie was still a sore subject for her, he hadn't called her once since she left Toronto.

"Jamie has the tendency to see everything in black and white and lets just say in his eyes I'm a deep black, right now." Jude chuckled, but even to her it sounded hollow.

"I'm sure he will get over it." Tommy caressed her calf again, sensing that she didn't want to talk about it more and smiled reassuringly.

"I hope so." Jude said quietly and stared out of the window into the summer night. Letting Tommy's caress make all the worries and memories of Jamie vanish from her mind and only feeling the warmth spread inside her body and into her heart.

* * *

Voilà my fourth chapter. I hope you like it. I know it is a big jump from the last chapter, where they just met, to this one, where they're already friends. I really tried to write their second meeting, where they would slowly become friends, but I just couldn't get it right, it was always out of character and forced. So I settled for this. I hope you like it anyway.

I already have the next chapter planned out in my head, so it probably won't take that long to update. Maybe even tomorrow evening, at least evening for all the people in CET.

Breakingaway.


	5. The dream

"Sorry, I have to take this." Tommy said and walked out of the studio.

"What is going on with him?" Leon asked.

"What do you mean?" Owen turned to him and looked at who he was looking. Tommy was now standing in the hallway, his cell phone pressed to his ear, talking to someone animatedly .

"Tommy. He's acting weird. He's all relaxed and yesterday he made me do the song 7 times, but didn't yell once. He just said 'do it again' and then started the track. I asked him what has got into him and he just grumbled something." Leon explained.

"If I were you I wouldn't mention it to him again or he'll start the yelling again."

"Okay, sure. I just wondered." Leon said casting one last glance at Tommy and then turned back to the lyrics in front of him.

Owen kept looking at Tommy though, he knew what or more accurate who had made Tommy act this way: Jude. Tommy had spent every free minute with her and even sent text messages to her during recording time. He didn't know exactly what was going on between Tommy and Jude. Tommy had told him that they were only friends, but he also said that he had spent the other night at Jude's. Owen couldn't understand how that would fit. Were they friends? Or something more? Or maybe friends with benefits, but he wouldn't reckon Jude to be the type for something like this, she was just 17 after all.

He sighed, thinking about the confused relationship Jude and Tommy had was giving him a headache, he only hoped Tommy knew what he was doing.

Later that day Tommy opened his door to a smiling Jude.

"Hey, girl." Tommy greeted her and Jude's heart made a flip. Two weeks ago Tommy had started giving her nicknames like girl or Big Eyes. She had been called many names by many people, Shorty, Blondie, Superstar, Dude, J, but none of these could make her heart flip like one of Tommy's 'girls' could. He just had to say it, no matter if she stood in front of him or if they were talking on the phone, it always caused a shiver to run down her back.

"Hey." She stepped in and kicked off her shoes into the corner, causing Tommy to roll his eyes. She did this every time and he had stopped telling her not to, he had the feeling that she did it on purpose just to annoy him, so he always only rolled his eyes and didn't say anything anymore.

"What smells so good here?" Jude asked noticing the delicious smell in the air. She walked into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, her eyes wide. "You cooked?" She asked incredulous, turning to Tommy.

"Yeah." He grinned. "Wouldn't have thought that I'm able to do that, right?" He teased and Jude bit her lip and grinned sheepishly. She really never had thought he would be the type of man, who could cook. She walked into the kitchen, bent down and looked into the oven.

"Is it eatable?" She teased back, standing up and turned to Tommy.

"Of course, it's poulet aux herbes after my grandmother's recipe." He exclaimed indignantly.

"Sounds french."

"It is. My family is from France." He opened the oven and took out the casserole dish with the chicken and put it on the counter.

Jude watched him put the chickens on two plates and then adding potatoes and some sauce. They walked over to the table, that Jude only now realized Tommy had set with a table cloth and wine glasses and even napkins.

"Did I miss something? I thought your birthday isn't until in two weeks?" Jude asked gaping at the decorated table.

"It isn't. I just was in the mood to eat something else than take-out today and I believe you don't eat self-made dinner often, right?"

"No, I'm a total loser in the kitchen." She admitted and shrugged. "You can't be good at everything."

"True." Tommy put the plates down and they sat down on the chairs and Tommy purred her some whine.

"I know you're just 17, but I thought a bit wouldn't hurt."

"Believe me, I don't get drunk easily. Especially not because of wine." She said causing Tommy to raise his eyebrow.

"Already experienced, I see."

"Ugh-huh." Jude nodded taking a sip of her whine.

"I would really like to scold you now, but that would make me a hypocrite." Tommy said regretful.

"Oh I can imagine your escapades." Jude grinned. "On tour with four guys, booze en masse and girls throwing themselves at you. There can happen so much, right?"

"You have no idea. Going on tour is always crazy."

"I know." Jude mumbled to herself. Sometimes she just wanted to tell him the truth, that she was a famous singer, but she was afraid it would change everything. There was finally someone who liked her really her and not the musician Jude Harrison. It felt so good to be accepted like that especially with the insecurity she felt at the moment.

"Jude."

"Huh?" She shook the thoughts from her mind and focused on Tommy in front of her again.

"I asked how you liked the chicken." He repeated.

"Oh, it's fantastic." Jude smiled and took another bite. "You really can cook."

"Thanks." Tommy smiled back and asked her how her day was, what started a conversation, that lasted throughout dinner.

After dinner they cleaned the dishes together, Tommy surprised Jude again by knowing how to do that properly, and then sat down on the couch. It was fairly late already and they decided against watching a movie.

"You said you're family was from France, but Quincy doesn't sound that french." Jude said, lying on the couch with Tommy to her feet.

"You think Quincy is my real name?" Tommy asked. "It's a stage name, I got when I joined Boys Attack."

"Really?" Jude sat up and looked at Tommy astonished. "What's your real name?"

"Come on, Tommy, tell me." She pleaded when Tommy just smirked and shook his head.

"Nope."

"Please?" She begged, pouting and looking at him with her big blue pleading eyes.

"Not today. Maybe another time." He said standing up. "It's already quite late." He stretched and looked down at Jude, who was still looking at him pleadingly. "You're staying over?" Jude stopped pouting and nodded.

"You can have the bathroom first then." Tommy called over his shoulder walking into his bedroom.

Jude walked into the bathroom and grabbed her tooth brush. Yes she had her own tooth brush in Tommy's bathroom, they had decided that both of them would have tooth brushes at both apartments, so that they could choose spontaneously if they wanted to stay. Jude had also her pyjama in one of Tommy's drawers and Tommy his in hers. It was easier this way.

The first night she had slept at Tommy's had been kind of awkward. Seeing Tommy prowl around his apartment in nothing but his boxers had made her feel fairly insecure and she couldn't look him at him at all. When he had finally disappeared into his bedroom she had first had to drink something and take a deep breath before she lay down on the couch or she wouldn't have been able to sleep at all. Now it wasn't so bad anymore, she still couldn't look at him though, so she just looked him in the eyes and tried to ignore that he was half-naked in front of her. He also must have sensed her embarrassment, because he wouldn't wait in the living-room anymore, instead he would be in his bedroom and they would only see each other when Jude left the bathroom and he would walk past her to walk in.

Looking into the mirror for any traces of make-up after washing her face she decided she was ready and left the bathroom. As usual Tommy opened his bedroom door, when she walked past it and stepped out, clad in a pair of blue boxers.

"Night." Jude said, focusing her eyes on his face.

"Night. Sweet dreams." He replied with a smile and disappeared in the bathroom.

Minutes later Tommy lay in his bed, wide awake. He couldn't stop the thoughts running through his head. He had that problem a lot lately. To be exact since he met Jude. She was invading herself into his mind at all times, it didn't matter where he was she was always there. And that was his problem. She shouldn't be there, she was just a friend, right? It shouldn't matter that much whether Jude liked the food he bought or the music he made, but it was all he could think about. It was something he had never experienced before. He had always been so self-focused that he had never cared about others, but Jude changed him. To the better, as he noticed. How she did this he didn't know it was just her in her nature to have such a great impact on people . How this would end he didn't know either and that was what he was afraid of.

_She was standing in a white sterile room. There were neither doors nor windows. Around her stood other people, but she couldn't recognize them, their faces were all blurry. Those people didn't say a word, they just stood there looking at her as if they were waiting for her to do something. She felt the panic rise, what were they expecting her to do? Why did nobody say anything? Suddenly one of the persons became less blurry and she turned to them. It was Shay, he looked at her and then turned around and disappeared. Confused she turned back to the others and saw that she could see another person more clearly now. This time it were her mother and Don. They waved to her and her mum said:_

"_Bye, Sweety."_

"_No, mum." She yelled, but they were already gone. _

_Hastily she turned back around again and now her father was clear. He was holding her first guitar and smiled down at it, lost in memories. Then he looked up again and smiled proudly at her. Desperate she made a step towards him and tried to hold him back, but she grasped only air and her father wasn't there anymore. _

"_Dad, please come back. Where are you dad? Please. Dad!" She struggled to breath and watched in horror how one by one the persons cleared, looked at her or waved and then vanished into thin air. First Kat, then Jamie, Patsy, Spied, Wally, Kyle and last of all Sadie and Kwest._

_By now Jude was breathing heavy and pleading for them to come back. She ran around the room and scanned the walls for hidden doors or other openings, but there weren't any. She fell on the floor in despair and felt how a cold feeling overcame her. She snapped for air._

Snapping for air Jude woke up. A thin layer of sweat was covering her body and her hair stick to her skin at the neck. Looking around she needed a moment to realize that she still was on the couch at Tommy's.

She took a deep breath and threw off the blanket, she had been lying under, and sat up. What the hell had that been? She had never dreamed such a confusing dream before. She closed her eyes for a second to calm down her breath, before she stood up and walked into the kitchen silently. She poured herself a glass of water and sat down at the table. Taking a mouthful she felt her erratic breathing and the rush of her blood slow down and her whole body relaxed again. Suddenly a feeling of lost and despair washed over her and she couldn't help it but cry. Tear after tear fell down her cheeks onto her shirt. Closing her eyes against them, she saw her sister and Kwest before her and how they just disappeared. She sobbed a heart-wrenching sob and more tears fell down and she couldn't stop them. She didn't know what to do, a look at the clock told her that it was 3 am. Not the perfect time to call anybody or to go back to her apartment. What should she do? She needed someone to tell her that it was all a bad dream and that if she called Sadie or her dad, they were still there and hadn't just disappeared. There was one possibility, but could she do that? Was it even a possibility?

Another strangled sob escaped her mouth and she stood up, wiping the tears from her eyes. She really didn't care at the moment how many lines she crossed. She needed to feel something else but this cold feeling inside.

Warily Jude opened the door and peered inside. The room was dark and she couldn't make out anything beside his silhouette on the bed. The only noise in the otherwise quiet room was the whooshing sound of his low breathing. He was fast asleep. Careful not to make any noises she opened the door wider and stepped into the room. On her tip-toes she sneaked to the bed and stood before Tommy. He had his back to her and his head laid on his outstretched arms. The comforter had slid down and revealed Tommy's perfectly formed back muscles and his well defined biceps.

Jude hesitantly tapped him on the shoulder and waited. He didn't wake, so she did it again.

"Tommy?" She whispered tapping a bit stronger.

"Mhm?" He rolled over and opened his eyes sleepily. "Jude?" He asked in a drowsy voice.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep." She said apologetically and then couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "They just all disappeared. I couldn't do anything" She explained helplessly.

"Sh. It's okay. Come here." Tommy scooted over and lifted the comforter for Jude. She slid in and he laid his arms protectively around her, pulling her into his side. "It's okay. It was just a dream." He said soothingly and running his hand over her hair in a calming manner. Slowly Jude's sobs decreased and her breathing came in deep and slow breath again. She closed her eyes and drifted of into a deep slumber. The last thing she registered was Tommy pressing a kiss on her hair, then she was asleep.

The first thing Tommy noticed the next morning when he woke up was, that he couldn't move, something was pinning his body to the mattress. Something warm and soft. Carefully he moved his arms away from under the warmness over him and rubbed his eyes. Then he opened them a bit and raised his head to look at his chest. There lay Jude, sprawled over his body, her head on her hands on his naked chest, one leg intertwined with his and the other one outstretched. The dried path of her tears still visible on her cheek, reminded him of the night before, as she had stood next to his bed in tears. He really wondered what she had dreamed to made her this upset. Now, however, she had a little angelic smile on her face and it brought a smile on Tommy's face. To him she had never looked more beautiful. Hesitantly he reached out and tucked one strand of hair behind her ear. When she moved her head a little, Tommy held his breath, but she just snuggled deeper into him and didn't wake up. Slowly as not to wake her he moved her a bit and slipped out from under her and out of the bed. He covered her fully with the comforter again and then straightened and walked out of the bed.

When Jude woke up she was disorientated, she lay in a big warm bed, that wasn't hers in a strange room. Where the hell was she? She sat up carefully and looked around. The nightstand, the closet, the mirror, the chair everything seemed familiar, but she couldn't place it until she saw the jeans and shirt thrown over the back of the chair. They were Tommy's! Oh my god. She was in Tommy's bed. As soon as she realized that she could smell him, his scent was everywhere around her and it made her insides tingle. She threw the comforter off her in a hurry and was about to dash out of the room. When she noticed something. Where was Tommy? He wasn't in his bed and she couldn't hear a sound from behind the door. She walked to the door and opened it a bit. Still nothing. Opening the door fully she stepped out and almost screamed when she heard a voice behind her.

"Morning, big eyes. You've slept well?" With a racing heart she turned around and let out a gush of air, as she realized it was only Tommy.

"Yeah, thanks. Did you?"

"Yeah, even though I almost got crushed to death by someone." Tommy replied with a twinkle in his eyes and Jude blushed. Did she really almost crushed him? How embarrassing, surely he would be mad at her now. First she invaded his bed without asking and then she didn't even let him sleep peacefully.

"Sorry. I...ugh...I don't know what came over me last night. I promise it won't happen again."

"It wasn't that bad." Tommy reassured her. "Do you remember your dream? It must have been something, you were all shaken up." He asked concerned.

"No, I can't remember anything. Wasn't probably that important then." She lied. Admitting to Tommy that she still remembered every detail from her dream, would lead to revealing to him her biggest fear. Although she hadn't known yesterday night in her sleep-drunken and disordered state what this dream was about she had realized it now. Ever since her mum had left her without as much as a glance backwards it was her fear that everybody she loved would leave her, too. Because apparently it wasn't that hard to do that, when she wasn't even enough to convince her own mother to stay.

Tommy looked at her scrutinizing, he wasn't sure why, but he had the feeling that she was hiding something from him. Not being able to stand Tommy's searching look, Jude walked towards the kitchen.

"You want to have breakfast?" She called over her shoulder and Tommy followed her to help her. Leaving her be for now, but he would get back to the subject of her dream later and then she wouldn't be able to dodge it. He would make sure of that.

* * *

_Thanks everyone for their review for the last chapter, I think you really liked it and I hope you like this one just the same or even more. _

_I know I promised I would update this yesterday, but I successfully blocked out that I had to get up at 5 am this morning, so I had to go to sleep pretty early yesterday evening and hadn't had the time to finish writing._

_I don't know when I'll be able to update again, because I will be admitted to the hospital tomorrow at short notice. Maybe I can go back home tomorrow evening, but if the suspicion is confirmed, I will have to stay a few more day. _

_So maybe I'll update on saturday or sunday, but I won't promise anything._

_Breakingaway_


	6. Getting closer

"You have something special planned for your birthday?" Jude asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"No, nothing special. Why?" Tommy yelled back from the living-room

"Just wondering." Jude replied shortly. They had once again woken up in her apartment after they had spent the evening together. Tommy was currently getting dressed in her bedroom, while Jude was making coffee in the kitchen. They were now back to sleeping separately one in the bed and the other on the couch. Like usual there wasn't much talking in the morning, they were both grumpy until the first caffeine had kicked in. But today Jude had felt adrenalin running through her veins since the moment she had woken up. She had planned a surprise for Tommy's birthday tomorrow and was now waiting impatiently for the moment where she could start putting her plan into action.

"Did you plan something?" Tommy asked curious, he didn't know why, but the thought that maybe Jude had actually planned something for him made him feel special. He didn't remember having a birthday party when he was young, his mother always being too drunk to care for her boys or sometimes to remember she was even a mother So the first and only birthday where somebody had really cared that it was his birthday had been his 18th birthday, when Darius had thrown him a party. Before that and since then he hadn't had a real birthday. It was always just a day like any other day, maybe a few people at work would congratulate him, but that was it. Of course the always calculating man, that Darius was, hadn't organized a party because he liked Tommy that much, but because it was good publicity for their upcoming album. Tommy hadn't many memories of it either, getting drunk as soon as the official part was over and the bar opened. So the idea of someone doing something on his birthday because they actual cared for him, made him feel like a little boy over again.

"No." Jude said, grinning widely to herself not hearing the disappointed tone in Tommy's voice when he answered with a 'Oh. Okay.'

"Maybe we could do something together like visiting The Dakota, you always wanted to do that, right? I could take the day off" Tommy suggested coming into the kitchen fully clothed and sat down at the table.

"I...I can't. Sorry. I have to run some errands tomorrow afternoon." Jude replied biting on her lip not able to look at Tommy, but instead watched the coffee machine fill the cups.

"Errands?"

"Yes." Jude nodded still facing away from Tommy.

"And I can't convince you to forget about these errands?"

"No, I..." Jude started saying while she turned around, but stopped when she saw Tommy standing behind her. Directly behind her so that her body was trapped between the counter and his body. Slowly she raised her head, so that she could look at him. His eyes held a emotion she had never seen, but which made her breath come more shaky. The finished coffee long forgotten. Their eyes caught and slowly Tommy raised a hand to brush a strand of her hair, that had escaped her messy pigtail, back behind her ear. His hand lingered there and then he dropped it to her waist pulling her closer. The whole time their eyes stayed connected and they could feel each others erratic breathing on their skin. Jude released her lip from her teeth and Tommy leaned down to capture it with his own. Just as Jude felt Tommy's breath come closer and she closed her eyes they heard a noise in the background.

She felt Tommy's body stiffen and then his presence was gone, causing her to open her eyes and look for him. He was standing at the opposite site of the room, running a hand through his not yet gelled hair and squinting his eyes as if in deep concentration.

"Tommy?" The noise was there again and she realized it was her door bell.

"You should open the door." He said in a pressed voice and left the room. She followed him into the living-room where he grabbed his jacket and sunglasses, not really caring who was on the door.

"Tommy, what..." She started again, but was interrupted by Tommy, who had slid into his jacket and had put on the glasses and was now going into the hallway.

"Not now, Jude." He snapped and opened the door.

The sight in front of him was unexpected. Although he had learned to know that everything should be expected when Jude Harrison was involved, this he found was definitely unexpected. Jude stood in her hallway, still in what he guessed were her pyjamas. Her hair uncombed and pulled into a hasty pigtail standing in various direction, like she just came out of bed, what she probably did. That alone wasn't unexpected, as he hadn't got to know Jude as a morning person. The unexpected thing was the man standing right in front of him looking like he was ready to kill with just his look. His scrutinizing look travelled over him and the man's frown deepened.

"Dave, what are you doing here so early?" Jude asked surprised, breaking the tensioned silence.

"I told you I would come by earlier today." he reminded her taking his eyes away from the man and looked at Jude.

"Right. Come in." Dave stepped in, squeezing past the the angry looking man.

"I'll go." The man said and rushed out of the apartment banging the door behind him. Not leaving any time for them to say something. Jude sighed defeated.

"You okay?" Dave asked concerned, as she turned around without a word.

"Yeah, I'll change." She said and shut the door to her bedroom behind her.

Tommy hurried down the stairs and out of her apartment building to his Viper and got in. He buried his head in his hands and groaned. Why did he have to fuck up everything? He shouldn't have come so close to Jude. They had these moments a lot when they were close, that they both would lean in and they were about to kiss. Normally one of them would back away and make a stupid joke to break the tension between them. Today, however, neither one had made an attempt to break away and he knew that if the bell hadn't rung, they would have ended in having a steamy make out session in Jude's kitchen.

Not that he didn't want it, he wanted it very much. But he had found out in the soon 25 years of his life, that the things he wanted the most were always taken from him. And he couldn't let that happen with Jude. She was too important for him, he depended on her presence in his life, she made it so much more exciting and livable. He couldn't lose her, she was the most important thing in his life. He groaned again and gripped his hair in frustration. Even though he had these reasons to react like he did, he knew that Jude had been confused and possibly hurt by it. Snapping at her and then running away without a word weren't probably the most clever moves he could have done. But he had just been as confused and unsure as Jude and he never had been able to show his unsureness or confusion to anybody. He was always guarded and self-confident, so he reacted with anger and indifference to it.

And when he had seen Dave, or whatever his name was, at the door a wave of guilt had washed over him. Jude had told him about him, he had a master in mathematics and was now trying to find a job as a teacher and to fill the gap until then and to gain some practice he was tutoring Jude, so that she could still get her high school diploma at the end of the year. He was the kind of guy Jude should be with, a guy without issues and without a twisted past. She should spent her time with someone like Dave and have a carefree future and he was keeping her from that for his own selfish reasons.

He alone was to blame when Jude got hurt in her future, because he was luring her on to destruction with his presence. And she already had to deal with so much with her friend's death still gnawing at her, despite the move to New York to leave the memories that reminded Jude of her behind, and with her family so far away in Canada. She didn't need his fucked up life to add on that. The best would be for her when he stayed away, but he knew he wouldn't be able to do that, he really was too selfish. Turning the ignition key, he started the car and drove away. Determined to keep his distance from Jude...but not too much.

* * *

Hey, I'm back. :)

First I want to thank everyone for their reviews, especially Cylann, who had kindly pointed out to me that I've never written what Jude had told Tommy where she's from and why she's in New York. I've written it in my first draft for Chapter 4, but then I deleted everything again and forgot to mention it in my final draft.

The last two weeks had been kind of stressful for me, that's why I wasn't able to update sooner and why this chapter is so awfully short. I'm really sorry.

The next one, however, will be longer, I've already started writing, but I thought it would be good to end this chapter like this. The next chapter will be about Tommy's birthday and what Jude had planned. And I can tell you the harmonious time between Tommy and Jude will be over. There's going to be more drama. Because with Tommy and Jude there's always some drama involved.

Until next week (I think)

Breakingaway.


	7. Tommy's birthday

_**Warning**_ : This chapter may be a bit more into the direction of M instead of T, there's no sex in any variation. Only some licking and sucking on nacked flesh, some grinding and some sounds.

I just wanted to warn younger readers.

* * *

On Tommy's birthday Jude woke up to the early morning sun shining into her room through the half-closed curtains. The other day had been exhausting, getting everything together for her surprise had tired her out and she had decided to go to bed early, so she wouldn't be worn out when Tommy would come home; causing her to wake up earlier than she usually did on a Saturday. She still had a few hours until her neighbour would come over to help her. Yesterday she had bought everything she needed for the cake she wanted to bake only then to realize in her kitchen with he ingredients laid out before her and the recipe in her hand that she had no idea what to do. She had never been a good cook, her culinary skills limiting themselves to making French Toast, and even for that she needed to try twice before she was able to do it properly. How should she manage a perfect Blueberry Pie in only one try? In her desperation she had walked over to the other apartment on the same floor. There lived a family, on week days she often saw the mother with her children in the hallway coming back from picking them up from school. Jude really hoped a mother of two kids could teach her how to do a cake that was stated as simple, but she had a hard time just starting with.

The cake was the last thing she needed to prepare for tonight. She had already chosen what to eat a while ago and had placed the order last week at the restaurant. The restaurant she had decided should deliver the dinner was a little restaurant Tommy had told her about. He had never been there, but always wanted to after a colleague had recommended it. He just wanted there to be a special reason for going or ordering there, something more than just a friendly movie evening. She understood this, but what better occasion could there be than his birthday? And of course there was her dream that their relationship would finally make a move forward, she had realized yesterday after her anger at Tommy had subsided that she wanted nothing more than to be that close again and close the damn gap and then never let him go. She had never felt for someone else what she did for him. This comforting warmth she felt envelop her body when she cuddled up to him during a horror movie and he laid his arm around her in a protective manner. The enormous flock of butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach every time Tommy gazed into her eyes with his sapphire ones. And the impish smile he gave her, when he teased her made her legs went all jelly on her.

All of this was new to her, she had never felt something like this before in her life. And it made her a bit uneasy that she had these feelings for someone as closed as Tommy, who barely allowed anyone into his thoughts and who she, no matter how hard she tried, couldn't figure out. Like yesterday when they were in her kitchen, she thought she saw something in his eyes and _**he**_ had leaned in the same as she did and she had thought he had wanted it, too, but then he made a 180° turn and didn't even talk to her and instead fled her apartment. She couldn't understand why he did that. He couldn't find her that repulsive, could he? He had voluntarily spent his time with her and he was the one, who had indicated it after all. Hopefully she would get some answers out of him and if it was that he only wanted to stay friends, at least then she knew where they stood and could push aside her feelings for him and just be his friend. Although she had the guess this wouldn't turn out to be easy, when every time she just looked at him, she had the urge to leap in his arms and kiss him senseless. But she would try, as good as possible, for him.

After standing up finally and going into the kitchen she made herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. A smile appeared on her face when she saw the white envelope laying there. It was her birthday present for Tommy and she was incredible proud with herself for coming up with such a great idea, to say so herself. She had got the idea one evening when they hadn't watched TV, but had played 20 questions, a game she usually found childish, but Tommy had suggested it and she couldn't let the opportunity pass to get to know him better. He had answered every question she asked, from his favourite colour, black, to his touring with Boys Attack, a memory he hated, but didn't want to miss either, she had avoided the most delicate issues though, as she knew as soon as she would touch something too personal he would block her out again and the game would be over. So she stayed with topics she knew he wouldn't consider too personal, Boys Attack being an exception, but most of his time with Boys Attack had anyway been in the tabloids and for that wasn't that personal. Once she had plucked up courage and had asked him what he had always wanted to do and to her surprise and delight he had answered after a short moment of thinking with one word: bungee-jumping. She had seen the look on his face and had let the matter rest, but had decided to make his wish come true. So she had phoned a company, who organized bungee-jumps in the area and they had sent her a gift certificate for a tandem jump. That way they could jump together or Tommy could take someone else with him, she hoped for the first though. She usually wasn't the best present-maker, but she had a really good feeling with this one.

Carefully she picked the envelope up and laid it on the shelf in the living-room, so that she wouldn't forget it later, a proud smile still on her face. Grabbing her cell phone on the same shelf she dialled a number she hadn't dialled in a long time. Impatiently she waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

"Hello?" She heard the voice over the phone saying as a greeting.  
"Hey, it's Jude" .

"Hello, Jude."

"Don't say my name." She yelled causing Owen to back away from the phone frowning. "I don't want Tommy hearing you're talking to me."

"Sorry." He mumbled, casting a glance to Tommy, who seemed like he hadn't heard anything, and turned his chair away from Tommy.

"Do you have a key to Tommy's apartment?"

"Yes, why?" Owen asked, confused why Jude didn't call Tommy when she wanted the key to his apartment. Although maybe she knew in what a foul mood he was today and didn't want to bother him, which would be a wise decision. As Tommy was acting weird the whole day. At 8 am he came in slamming the door and then he sat down, grabbed the headphones and started mixing and except for a 'Owen, call Jayson.' around 10 he hadn't said a word and it was now 12 am. For that Owen was glad, though, at least today Tommy didn't snarl at everybody like he normally did when he was in a bad mood.

"I want to surprise him tonight with dinner and so on." Jude explained. "For his birthday."

"That's nice." Owen said smiling. Hopefully that would cheer up his best friend. "I come by after work. Around 4, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks. See you."

"Bye." They hung up and Owen turned back around to continue working with Tommy, who had stopped working though and had listened intently to the conversation. It was disrespectful, but at the moment he didn't give a damn. He wanted to make sure Jude was alright. He had tried to call her three times last night, but always only got voice mail and it really put him in a foul mood. He hadn't slept at all last night, every time he closed his eyes he saw Jude's confused and somewhat hurt face in front of him and every time a wave of guilt would wash over him. Since yesterday he had never felt guilt, always so full of himself, that he never cared for others. It hadn't, however, ever been his intention to hurt Jude with his actions. Didn't she see that by leaving he had prevented her from getting further hurt? The fact that she now blatantly ignored him indicated that she didn't.

He sighed and rubbed with his hand over his face to ban all thoughts about Jude out of his head. He wanted to pretend at least for one day, that nothing had changed. That he still was the selfish bastard, he used to be, who didn't care and never worried about anything. From his boyband days he knew one way how to forget everything, drinking until he was numb and he fully intended to do that tonight. Leon had called him this morning and had invited him into some club and he planned to go there and celebrate that he was still young and free. The outcome of his actions and the conversation he knew he had to have with Jude about them, so he'd not lose lose her completely could wait until tomorrow or maybe Monday, depending on how hung-over he was. Because he was sure of one thing, talking to Jude while he felt like shit was something he didn't want to experience. Tonight he would get wasted with the guys and wouldn't think about anything, just forget.

Jude closed her phone and grinned, everything went as planned. She stood up and walked into her bedroom, after throwing some old t-shirt and jeans on she went back into the kitchen and laid the ingredients out in front of her. Just as she was finished the bell rang and she went to open it. In front of her stood her neighbour, Sharon, with her two children.

"Hey, come in." Jude opened the door for her and let her in.

"Hey." Sharon said and pushed her kids through the door. "Sorry I had to bring the kids, Henry, my husband, is at work and I can't leave them alone at our apartment. But they have their colouring books, so they won't be in our way."

"No problem. They can sit at my coffee table in the living-room." Jude said and squinted down to the kids' level. "Hey, I'm Jude." She put forth her hand and the little boy grabbed it eagerly, while his sister hid behind her mother's leg.

"Hello, I'm Brandon. That's my sister Maya." He pointed to the little girl. "But she's no fun, she's only 3. I'm 6." He said proudly and Jude laughed.

"Okay, do you want to go into my living-room and colour there? Your mommy and I will be in the kitchen." The boy nodded and grabbed his sister's hand and walked into the living-room, but came back again.

"Jude?" He asked with a sheepish smile on his face.

"Yeah?" Jude asked standing up again.

"You're pretty." Brandon said and then disappeared in the other room again. Jude blushed and looked at Sharon, who chuckled.

"I tell you something, this one is going to be one hell of a heartbreaker." Jude said shaking her head at the cockiness of the 6-year-old.

"He already is, last week I got a phone call from a very upset woman, her daughter was crying her eyes out, because my son decided he didn't want to walk next to her in pre-school and hold hands with her, instead he went for another girl." Sharon told her and Jude laughed.

"Shall we?" She said motioning towards the kitchen with her hand.

"Yes, of course."

They walked into the kitchen and started making the dough for the pie. Jude had to admit that it was really simple, when you did exactly what the recipe said.

40 minutes later Sharon and Jude were sitting at her table drinking coffee and waiting for the pie to be baked golden.

"So you never told me who you are baking for." Sharon said sipping on her cup of coffee.

"For a friend. It's his birthday today and Blueberry Pie is his favourite, so I thought I would surprise him." Jude finished her coffee and sat the cup down on the table, circling the rim of it with her finger.

"Him?"

"Yeah, he's a guy. His name is Tommy." Jude explained, filling her empty cup with more coffee. She could under no circumstances be tired today evening. "It's him over there." She said pointing to a photo of Tommy and her, they had taken on the viewing balcony of the Statue of Liberty, when they had visited it two weeks ago.

That weekend Tommy had been off work and had gone sight-seeing with Jude. It was one of the best weekends she had ever had, first they'd seen the Empire State Building, Time Square and some other sights, then they had eaten at a sushi bar for lunch and afterwards had made the journey to Liberty Island. Jude had been really impressed by the Statue, normally things that seem big on TV or on photos are really small in reality, but the Statue was giant. She had been excited like a little child on Christmas when Tommy had told her they would go up to the viewing balcony. There they had asked some tourist to take a photo and later Tommy had printed it out for her. In the evening they had gone to a Jazz club. The club was one of the old ones with a classy decoration, live band on a platform and smoke hanging in the air. There they had the first one of their 'moments'. They had danced, both a bit intoxicated by the drinks they had consumed before, somehow their first innocent dancing turned into heavy grinding and gyrating. Jude's hands were behind Tommy's neck playing with his nape hair and his hands laid on her hips, pulling her closer to him. Jude could still remember how it felt to have Tommy's body pressed against hers. Hard and warm. Under her fingertips she could feel a thin layer of sweat on his neck and his hair was a bit damp as well. One of her legs was between Tommy's legs and she was slightly rubbing her pelvis on his thigh, creating a wonderful friction where she had never felt one before, causing her to bit her lip so that she would moan out loud. Tommy was doing the same thing to her thigh and he seemed to enjoy it as well as he groaned occasionally. Just as they had both leaned in a bit and their faces were only inches apart, their eyes closed and mouths slightly open, someone bumped into them, bursting effectively the bubble they were in. They had both looked a bit confused at each other and then had laughed and gone to the bar for the next drink like nothing had happened. The next day Tommy hadn't mentioned it and Jude wasn't sure if he even remembered as he was more wasted than her and so she hadn't brought it up, pushing it to the back of her mind.

She was brought out of her reverie by Sharon, who had stood up to get the photo and now was squealing.

"He's cute." Sharon said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Ugh, yeah." Jude grinned sheepishly.

"How old is he? He seems older."

"Today, 25..." Jude said slowly. "Oh my god! He's almost 8 years older than me. I've never realized...He was just Tommy...He was already in school when I was born...Oh my god." Jude stuttered incoherently, her eyes widened in shock. "I'm just a stupid child compared to him...and I thought...we could...oh I'm stupid." She was breathing erratically and her heart was beating like crazy. Carefully Sharon laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Jude, it's okay. Breathe." Jude took a deep breath. "Calm down, it's okay." Sharon soothed her. A few deep breath later, Jude could focus again.

"Sorry, I've just never realized that he's so much older." Jude apologized, taking another deep breath to calm her further down. "I just...I just got my hopes up, you know. That maybe there could be more between us." Jude admitted. "Yesterday I thought I saw something, when I looked in his eyes, as if he really cared."

"And why wouldn't he care?"

"I'm 17, why would he want someone this young and inexperienced, when he could have every woman? You yourself said he is cute and damn you are older than him."

"Only by 5 years." Sharon said in mock hurt, but then grew serious again. "You know what?" Jude shook her head. "Henry is 10 years older than me. I've met him in a restaurant where I had a part time job. He was there with his colleagues, celebrating his promotion. I was18 and just started my first year at NYU. It was love at first sight. And after the first shock my family accepted him and we got married 4 years later, another two years later Brandon was born and then came Maya. And we're still happy. If you love each other, age has no meaning." Sharon said and Jude nodded. "Surprise him tonight and then see what he does. Maybe you're just over-thinking everything." Sharon suggested and stood up. "I have to go now, Brandon's soccer training starts in an hour."

"Oh, okay." Jude stood up as well. "Thanks. For the cake and for the...ugh...advice."

"No problem. If you need something just come over." Sharon got Brandon and Maya and then walked to the door.

"Have fun, tonight." She said winking. "And don't worry to much. You're a great girl, if he doesn't see that it's his loss. You're young and beautiful, you can have everyone you want, too."

"Thanks." Jude squinted down again. "Bye, Brandon. Bye Maya." Maya smiled shyly at her and then hid behind her mother's leg again. Brandon, however, came forward and gave Jude a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye, Jude." He said with his adorable smile, but then a frown appeared on his forehead.. "I'm going to marry you." He stated matter-of-factly.

"You do?" Jude asked with a raised eyebrow, causing Brandon to nod. "Okay. But now go play soccer, my future-husband." Brandon waved and then trotted over the hallway to their apartment door, where Sharon and Maya were already standing. Jude stood up, waved good-bye as well and watched as all three disappeared in their home. Slowly she closed her door and smiled. Sharon was right, she should just wait and see what happened tonight.

Of course when she had arrived at Tommy's she had noticed that she just could have asked Frank, the doorman for the key, instead of asking Owen, but she wasn't sure if she would have got the key, even though she was a frequent guest at Tommy's. She imagined that they needed Tommy's signature or something. Although now it didn't matter anyway. She had got the key from Owen and had even got the information when Tommy would be home.

Around 7 Jude opened the door to Tommy's apartment. Owen had brought her the key earlier and wished her good luck for tonight. He couldn't stay long, though, Sarah and him were going to visit her parents for a few days and he was already late. After Owen was gone, Jude had showered and then had changed into her outfit, which consisted of black thin jeans and a white long t-shirt with a neckline, that showed a bit more cleavage than the shirts she normally wore. In addition, she wore a black leather jacket. It was casual enough for a evening at home, but also different to what Jude usually wore, so that it didn't seem like any other evening. All in all Jude felt kind of sexy, a feeling she hadn't had often and she hoped Tommy would see her like that, too.

She sat the pie and the envelope down on Tommy's kitchen table and then pulled a garland, which said 'Happy Birthday', out of her purse and walked into the living-room. It was kind of creepy alone in Tommy's apartment. Normally Tommy was there with her and there was always some noise. Now everything was quiet. Moreover she looked over her shoulder every few seconds, because she feared that Tommy would come home sooner than Owen said he would and than her whole surprise would be ruined. Carefully she climbed on the chair, she had positioned against the wall and affix the one end of the garland to the wall. Then she did the same on the other wall, so that the garland hung diagonally across the room. Satisfied with her work she picked up two plates, cutlery and glasses and set them on the table in Tommy's living-room. She would lit some candles later, it was still to bright outside. Now it was time to wait.

The bell rang at 7.20pm, right on time. Jude opened the door and let the people from the restaurant in and they put the food on the coffee table. After they had instructed her how to use the chafing-dish, they left and Jude said down on the couch. Her fingers drummed nervously on the armrest, she really hoped this wasn't to much and Tommy would appreciate it. When she heard foot-steps coming closer to the apartment she jumped up and stood in the doorway, so she could see the apartment door. But she heard how the door next door was opened and closed and then everything was quiet again. With a sigh she laid down on the couch and bit on her lip. One look at the clock told her that it was now 10 after 8, Owen had said Tommy usually left the building at half past 7 on a Saturday evening including the 20 minute-drive and maybe some traffic, he should have been here 15 minutes ago.

The time passed by and at 9 pm Jude got really impatient, she walked the living-room up and down and cursed Tommy, who had to work late on his birthday of all days. She debated whether she should call him or not, she decided she wouldn't. What should she say anyway? 'Hey, Tommy. It's Jude. When are you coming home, because I'm waiting here for you with a surprise dinner.' Yeah, that wouldn't ruin the surprise at all. So she laid down on the couch again and kept on waiting.

Some time later she woke up with a start, she had no idea how long she had slept, she hadn't even noticed that she had fallen asleep, but it must have been a while ago that she did, for it was dark outside. She heard foot-steps in the kitchen and stood up.

"Tommy?" She asked, walking towards the kitchen, but nobody answered. "Tommy?" She heard someone swearing and stepped into the kitchen. "Leon." She said surprised. The person in front of her turned around quickly, almost losing his balance.

"Judd." He slurred. "What 'r ye doin' here?" Jude could smell that he reeked of alcohol and wrinkled her nose.

"I...ugh...What are you doing here?" She asked instead, guessing that he wouldn't care anyway in his drunken state.

"Partyin'. Iss T's birsssday. Need'd more whiskey." He said grinning, raising his arm to show Jude the bottles of Jack Daniel's he clutched in his hands.

"You're partying here?" Jude asked astonished, as she didn't hear any music or even voices.

"Downstairs. Wanna come wiss me?" He asked, walking to the door, swaying every few steps. Jude followed him and he led her to a door in a hallway. He opened it and Jude saw that the door was soundproof, that was why she hadn't heard anything. Now, though, she could hear voices and loud music. Carefully she descended the stairs behind Leon and looked into the room as soon as it came into her field of vision. What she saw made her stop dead in her tracks. There in the middle of the room sat Tommy on a couch. His hair was dishevelled and his white button-down shirt was unbuttoned, so that his toned chest was visible. Although normally the view of his chest made her stop doing anything except staring at it, this time it was something else that had her paralysed. This time it was the beautiful woman that was, only in a skimpy thong, dancing in front of Tommy, pressing her big fake breast into his face. Her fingertips were tracing his fine trail of hair up to where his jeans sat low on his hips and then back up. His hands were on her ass, kneading it and with his tongue he was licking circles over her collarbone following a path to her breast and slowly licking lower until he reached her nipple, where he sucked slightly, causing her to hiss. Then he travelled with his tongue higher and then to her other breast repeating the same action to the nipple. They both seemed to enjoy their actions as moans escaped from deep in their throats and at least Tommy's eyes were closed in pleasure. Jude stared at them for another moment and felt bile raise up her throat. Not being able to stand the sight anymore she turned around, intimating to Leon that she was going and ran upstairs. He merely nodded and walked to the other two girls, who were dancing in front of two other guys, though not touching them like the girl with Tommy did.

Upstairs Jude closed the door behind her and leaned against it, willing the tears to not come as long as she was in the apartment. In the living-room she tore the garland down and threw it into the trash can together with the food. Then she grabbed the envelope and the pie and fled the apartment. As soon as the door closed behind her she felt tears fall down her face and couldn't stop them. She was so disappointed, Sharon words had made her hope, that she maybe was enough for him and that they could really be something more than friends, that maybe his look had meant something and he had feelings for her, too. But it seemed as if that was just another unsatisfiable wish. The worst part was, she understood him. Why would he go for a 17-year-old inexperienced high-school student, who didn't even know what the feelings she had really meant. Was it love, attraction, lust?  
When he could have someone experienced, willing and grown-up? She wouldn't go for her either.

Jude hailed a taxi and got in. She told the driver her address and leaned back, still sobbing uncontrollable, which got her curious glances from the driver through the rear view mirror. She didn't care though, she just wanted to climb into her bed and hide underneath her covers and eat tons of ice cream.

At her apartment she payed the driver and got out and entered her apartment building, climbing up the stairs to her apartment she tried to stifle her sobs, so that Sharon wouldn't hear her. She wanted to be alone and even though Sharon had only tried to help her, she wouldn't be able to bear her optimism, right now she needed to feel miserable and wallow in self-pity. As soon as she had closed her apartment door behind her, another cry escaped her lips and she stumbled with teary eyes into her bedroom, where she laid the pie and the envelope on her nightstand and then fall onto the bed. Not caring that her make-up soiled the covers, she snuggled into them. Breathing in, she closed her eyes hoping for a dreamless sleep to come.

* * *

Okay, I couldn't wait to edit it. So I did it. Here is the new now edited chapter. I didn't change much, only deleted or added a few that I thought needed to be changed.

For the ones, who haven't read the first version of this chapter: It was very easy to write, as I had already the whole scenes from the moment where Jude enters Tommy's apartment in my head, I just had to write them down. I have actually four or five scenes, that I have alreasy planned out in my head, including the scene where Tommy finds out Jude is a singer. :). I call these chapters goal chapters. So every time in the future when I talk about a goal chapter, you know what I mean. The rest of the chapters I just come up while writing, like I did in this chapter with the beginning.

I hope you enjoy it, just as much as I enjoyed writing it. And please don't forget to review.

Breakingaway.


	8. Consequences

Tommy slumped into the comfy chair and closed his eyes with a tired sigh. Sometimes he just loved the advantages he got in his job. Especially when the advantage was a comfy seat in business class after such a taxing week like he had.

His week had already started in a bad way. On Sunday morning he had woken up with a massive hangover from his party the night before. He had felt like he had been run over by a truck, at least twice. Even the normally easy task of climbing up the stairs to his apartment had proved to be almost unmanageable with his unsteady legs and deranged sense of balance. And that was only after he had had to sit several minutes on the edge of the couch to fight of the nausea that had overcome him as soon as he had only made the attempt to move his head.

After he had stumbled into the kitchen, he had poured himself a glass of water and had swallowed a few Tylenol, grimacing as the water only intensified the bad taste in his mouth. Just as he had been about to lie down in his bed to sleep off his hangover, the bell had rung and some young guy in a weird uniform had been standing in front of his door asking for a chafing-dish or something he supposedly had borrowed. He had had no idea what this dork had been talking about and had after yelling a few profanities slammed the door in his face. When he had found the chafing-dish a few hours later in his kitchen he had kind of felt sorry for the guy, who had only done his job. Although he had still had no idea how it had landed in his kitchen.

Even though he had fallen into bed as soon as the chafing-dish-guy had left and had slept til 4 pm, thus about 6 hours, he hadn't felt better for the whole day. He couldn't remember the last time he had had such an hangover like he had that day. Therefore he hadn't tried to call Jude until Monday morning at work, the first time he had let it ring for ages until he got voice mail. Thinking that Jude maybe was in the shower or just didn't hear the phone, he had left a message for her and just had kept working. He only had got the suspicion that she still deliberately avoided him when he had phoned her after a few hours without hearing from her and had got voice mail after a few seconds. He had tried again and again after a few seconds the voice mail turned on. Jude was definitely rejecting his calls. She didn't want to speak to him, which surely meant she didn't want anything to do with him. When that realization had sunk in a wave of dread had overcome him and he had jumped up from his seat, almost knocking the chair down. He had hurried out of the studio towards the elevators. The prospect of losing Jude had made him realize that he couldn't allow Jude to avoid him, any longer no matter how mad she was at him for bolting out of her apartment. Jude was a passionate person, she was supposed to fight with him over his to her unreasoned behaviour. For Jude to ignore him couldn't mean something good for their friendship if they even were still friends.

He had managed to reach the lobby, when his boss had blocked his way and had asked him into his office. They were only in his office for about 5 minutes, but after that Tom had been ready to kill Jayson. Apparently with one of the talent scouts on maternity leave they were understaffed and with Owen still visiting the future-in-laws until Thursday Tommy couldn't really work that much on his albums, Jayson had therefore decided Tommy could fly to LA for five days and do the talent scouting for him.

He had scouted talents in his early days at Jayson records, until Jayson had seen his potential as a producer, since then the first time he would meet the new 'talents' was in the studio, where he worked with them to make them even better. He saw it like that: The talent scouts chose a rough diamond and he cut and polished them until they were big shiny gemstones. And he loved it like, every time it was a new challenge to see what he could tease out of them. So the idea of listening to dozens of artists from which probably only one or two were actually worth his while hadn't really been pleasing him. But he couldn't really disregard his boss's orders or he would jeopardize his job and he loved his job. No matter what had happened in his life, his job had always been the one constant that had made his life somewhat stable and had helped him to not loose himself completely in the mess he had created in his life.

His flight had been on Monday evening and in order to come to the airport in time, he had had to head home immediately to pack. So much for visiting Jude.

Querulously he had driven home, where he had thrown a few things in his suitcase, not caring that they would be wrinkled when he unpacked them again and then had hurried to the airport in his Hummer, his Viper to precious for him to park it at the airport for a few minutes much less five days.

Once he had landed in LA he had headed to his hotel room in a shiny new Aston Martin. Thankful that Jayson at least had planned out the whole trip and he hadn't have to worry about renting a car and looking for a hotel room. After checking in and bluntly overlooking the receptionist's distressing attempt at flirting, he had taken a shower, which had slightly loosened his tensed muscles and had helped clearing his mind from all the distraught thoughts running through his head, making it possible for him to fall into a deep slumber as soon as his head had hit the pillow.

The next days had been exactly like he had imagined them, he had visited numerous concerts and rehearsals, calling the managers of the singers he liked afterwards to discuss the transfer with them, when they had agreed on terms they both could live with he had called Jayson to get his approval and then had driven to the next concert. In the evening he had sat on the hotel bar, alone. Not that the women hadn't been interested, they had,as many had made clear to him in their actions and body language, but he had kept ignoring them only sipping on his beer, staring at the mirror on the opposite wall. What he had seen there was almost laughable. A man in his best years clinging to a glass of beer as if it would save him from the persistent woman on his side. Usually when he had been talent scouting he had let women sweeten his sojourn. At the end of his stay he normally 'knew' every woman in the hotel, in the figurative sense, of course. But the desire to take a woman upstairs to his room hadn't overcome him and he had always gone to bed alone this time. Before he had fallen asleep, though, he had tried to call Jude every day, hoping that she would pick up this time, but nothing. She had kept rejecting his call's and he had been confined to speaking on her voice mail. By now her voice mail must be cranped with his messages.

Understandably he had been glad when he had seen the last concert he was supposed to see and could go back to the hotel to pack his things again. He had taken the next flight home, not wanting to waste any more time to talk to Jude and maybe ruin their friendship because of that even more.

"Sir, wake up, sir." He heard a high-pitched voice next to his ear and something cold and skinny grabbing his arm. Opening his eyes slowly he saw a stewardess leaning over him, one perfectly manicured hand on his arm shaking him awake. When she saw that he was awake she smiled a quirky smile she probably thought was seductive and fluttered her eyelashes, which made her look like she had something in her eye.

"We're landing in a few minutes sir, please fasten your seat belt." She said in a voice that sounded like chalk screeching on a board.

Tommy nodded and fastened his seat belt.

15 Minutes later he had left the plane, not without an alluring glance from the stewardess of course, and was on his way to his Hummer. After checking if his Hummer had survived the time at the airport without a scratch he got in and drove towards Jude's apartment.

Tommy rung the bell again and waited, pacing the floor impatiently. When she still didn't open, he knocked on the door frantically.

"Jude, if you're there please open up. We need to talk." He sighed and continued in a calmer voice. "I know I messed things up, I shouldn't have walked away. But please let me in and let me explain." He pleaded and leaned his head against the door.

"She isn't there." A voice said behind him and he turned around. A woman was standing in the door way of the opposite apartment and watched him curiously.

"Huh?"

"Jude. She isn't there. I saw her leaving her apartment about an hour ago." The woman explained, looking him up and down, though not in a way as if she was checking him out, but as if she was trying to figure him out, which made him even more uncomfortable, than the first would have made. He nodded shortly as an indication he had heard her and as a goodbye and turned around.

"How was the cake?" Tommy stopped and turned around a confused expression on his face.

"Pardon?"

"You're Tommy, right?" Tommy nodded and the woman smiled. "I helped her bake the cake. She is a lovely girl, but utterly helpless in the kitchen. Thus I helped her baking the cake. It was all her idea, though." Now Tommy looked more confused.

"Sorry, ma'am, but I have no idea what you're talking about." The woman scrunched her eyes.

"The cake, Jude made you for your...Oh," realization reflected on her face and her mouth hung open in shock."

"What?"

"Nothing. I think that is something you have to discuss with Jude." The woman said.. "I have to go make dinner for my children." She smiled tightly and closed the door, leaving Tommy perplexed behind.

"Thanks for the piece of advice, but how am I supposed to discuss something with Jude, when I can't get a hold on her?" He muttered to himself and descended the stairs angrily.

On the way to his apartment, Owen called him and invited him to the club this night. Although he didn't really want to go, he agreed to come. Today he wouldn't be able to come farther with his problem with Jude anyway.

That was why he, freshly showered and in changed clothes, entered a crowded club one hour later and pushed his way through the moving bodies to a table where he had spotted his best friend drinking a scotch.

The club wasn't one of the in-club's but Tommy preferred its laid-back atmosphere to the modern clubs and it always was packed when Tommy came here, which wasn't as often as he used to visits clubs in his wild years. Moreover, Owen and him got the drinks at a lower price than other customers, because the manager considered that the women were more willing to drink when they were around. If that was a compliment or not, he wasn't sure, but he took the benefits anyway.

He reached the table and dropped into the seat opposite to Owen.

"Hey." he greeted him and ordered a beer from the waitress, another benefit from the manager.

Owen just said there with a shit-eating grin and watched as Tommy took a gulp from his beer.

"What?"

"How was it?" Owen asked with the same unnerving grin, making Tommy to want to punch it off his face, because it was pissing him off, that his best friend was in such a almost giddy mood and his mood hadn't improved since Monday, but got worse with every elapsed day.

"How was what? Why is everyone talking non-sense today?"

"Your birthday, man."

"Oh, yeah...ugh, good." Tommy replied, taking another sip. "Nothing special." He turned to the dance floor and watched the people moving to the beats of the music.

Owen smirked. "Yeah sure, nothing special."

"Mhm." Tommy said, not really paying attention to what Owen said. "The dancers were alright."

"Dancers?" Owen asked surprised at what Jude had organized for Tommy's birthday.

"Yeah. Dancers. Some girls, Leon hired them."

"And they were great, weren't they?" Came Leon's voice from behind them and they turned around.

"They were okay." Tommy answered finishing his first beer.

"Wait." Owen said horror striking his face. "You celebrated with Leon?" Tommy nodded and smiled at the waitress as she gave him a new beer.

"Yeah, some other guys were there, too." Leon agreed checking out some giggling girls at the bar, who would throw him seductive glances and lick their lips innocently.

"But what about Jude?" Owen spluttered still in shock about the things he heard.

"What should be with her?"

"She wasn't there?"

"No." Owen's interrogation was going on Tommy's nerves. He didn't want to talk about Jude right now, he hadn't thought about anything else for the whole week.

"Actually she was." Leon suddenly said, averting his eyes from a blonde with particular big boobs.

"What?" Tommy turned his head around fast, his eyes widened in horror.

"Yeah, when we were at your apartment and I had to get new drinks. I saw her in your kitchen." Leon explained nonchalantly. "I invited her to come downstairs, but I think as soon as she saw that you were occupied otherwise, she left again."

"She was there? In my basement?" Leon nodded.

"Yeah, don't ask me how she got in."

"I gave her my key." Owen admitted and Tommy glared at him.

"Why did you do that? Did you want our friendship to be ruined?" Tommy shouted, his hands clutched his fists. "Damn it. It's your fault she doesn't talk to me anymore."

"My fault? I think you did this to yourself." Owen replied calmly. He knew Tommy's temper good enough to know that shouting back would only infuriate him further. "I gave her the key, because she had something planned for your birthday. She had ordered from this restaurant you always wanted to go and wanted to surprise you with it. She needed the key to prepare everything."

Tommy sunk in his chair defeated. He had really brought on everything himself. She had wanted to surprise him and instead she found him with some cheap dancer. He suddenly felt very sick and let his head fall in his hands.

"She baked a cake." He whispered to himself, as realization dawned on him. That was what Jude's neighbour had meant. She had baked a cake for his birthday. "She did something for me on my birthday."

"Did anyone see her after that?" He asked louder for the others to hear. Hope evident in his voice that maybe she had talked to Owen or maybe even Leon.

"No, she gave my key to the receptionist at Jayson record." Owen said apologetically and Tommy nodded.

"You think she will forgive me?" Tommy asked lifting his head to look at the others, who looked at him sympathetically and shrugged her shoulders.

"You really like her, don't you?" Leon asked amazed. He knew Tommy for four years, but he had never seen this side of him, he was either the demanding producer or the cocky womanizer, but always controlled and strong.

"Yeah. I mean she is so stubborn and hotheaded and drives me crazy with her untidiness and her tardiness but at the same time she is understanding and witty and can calm me down in an instant only with her mere presence...She is just incredible." Tommy said and sighed. "And I probably ruined every chance I had with her."

"Maybe you should speak to her." Owen suggested and Tommy laughed humourless.

"I tried to call her for the past week, because I thought she was mad at me for some other stupid stunt I pulled on Friday, but she won't pick up. Today then, when I came back from LA, I went to her apartment, but she wasn't there." Tommy took another large sip and shrugged. "Maybe it is better like this. She is 17 after all and still so innocent, I would most likely brake her anyway. I'm not good enough for her." He said fatalistically, scrunching his eyes against the unwelcome salty liquid in his eyes.

"Don't say that, try again tomorrow, someday she won't be able to ignore you anymore." Owen said patting Tommy on his shoulder in a comforting manner.

They sat in silence all three in their own thoughts. Suddenly Leon chocked on his beer and Owen and Tommy looked up.

"You sure Jude is as innocent as you believe?" He asked and Tommy shot him a 'what the fuck'-glare. Leon pointed wordlessly to something behind Tommy's shoulder and Tommy turned around. What he saw made his blood boil and his breathing and heart beat quicken. An unpleasant rushing wound filled his ears, but he couldn't take his eyes from the scene before him: Jude grinding against another man, with her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open as if in a silent moan.

* * *

I'll end the chapter here, although I already have the next 200 words written. But it has already been such a long time since I'd last updated and the next point where I can end the chapter is still a few thousands words away, so I thought I would divide it into two parts.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter like you did the last one ( I got 7 reviews for it). Don't forget to review.

Breakingaway


	9. Jude's plan

There weren't many immature things Jude had done since she'd entered the business. Having to grow up fast to stand the madness of the pressure and other people's intrigues thrown at her.  
Some would say uploading the drunken photos some guy had taken of her on Mason's concert, the night after Spied and her had broken up, was immature, but she begged to differ. In her opinion it was an act of maturity, showing that she didn't only do things others told her to do without thinking herself, but that she could choose her own destiny and that she took responsibility for her own actions and didn't let others straighten things out for her. She had even felt a sense of liberation when she had taken matters in her own hand for the first tome without Darius controlling her.

Okay when she thought about it, getting arrested with Patsy was pretty immature and listening to her boyfriend instead her producer in the musical matter wasn't really evidence of maturity as well, but nothing was as immature as what she was doing right now. It was childish even and the worst was Karma had given her the idea. Of course not intentional but crabwise.

She had talked to Spied many times since she left Toronto. SME had taken a break as well since they were her back-up band and were now all three focusing on their last year of high school, as shocking it was to hear something like that coming out of Spied's mouth.

Today Spied had told her how Karma, who Jude still couldn't believe was his new girlfriend, had apparently taken a liking to flirt with her new producer, which didn't please Spied at all. At first Jude hadn't really listened, sure he was her friend, but he knew what she thought of Karma after the stunt she had pulled. So she had just said 'mhm' and ugh-huh' every now and then and had let him ramble, but one sentence had caught her attention. She had asked Spied to repeat it and albeit confused he had said it again. 'When I saw her with this man, my inner caveman woke up and I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and claim her as mine.'. Although Jude didn't really want to think about how Spied wanted to 'claim' Karma, they had after all gone already farther in their relationship than Jude had ever done. But the thought of Tommy throwing her over his shoulder as an act of jealousy had made her really excited. And while Spied had continued talking about how jealous he was and how he thought Karma did this on purpose, she had formed a plan in her head.

The last week had been hard for her, at first she had been mad at herself for believing Tommy had wanted her, but then her anger had switched over to Tommy, because he had made her believe he liked her. And if he really didn't find her appealing at all he could have said something instead of almost kissing her and then running out of her apartment in disgust. In her anger she had decided that if he found her so repulsive she would do him a favour and give him more space, that's why she rejected all his phone calls and didn't call him once. He probably didn't want anything anyway except telling her how almost kissing her was a mistake that would never be repeated and she could really do without that. But now after what Spied had told her she was intent on proving that he wasn't totally indifferent to her and that what she felt between them wasn't purely her imagination. And a bit revenge for what he had done to her, even though he hadn't known about her plans, wasn't all that bad either.

After Spied hadn't stopped talking half an hour later, she had got rid of him as polite as possible and had as soon as he had hung up dialled the number of the only person, who could help her without asking to many questions. Determined on her plan she waited for the other person to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Portia, I need a dress. And not a cute dress, but a sexy dress." The other woman chuckled, with Jude Harrison it was always right to the point.

"Look into the black garment bag that I packed into one of your suitcases and that I'm sure is hanging in the back of your closet right now." Jude leaped to her feet from her position on her couch and walked into her bedroom. Phone still on her ear she opened her closet and searched for the bag. She indeed found it at the back behind her jeans and skirts. She pulled it out and laid it on the bed. Carefully she opened the zipper and revealed a gorgeous dress. It was a bright red halterneck dress, which would bare her entire back up to the small of her back. It was rather short, barely mid-thigh, the top half was close-fitting, whereas the bottom half from the waist on flew around her body in gentle waves.

"Thanks, Portia. This is exactly what I was looking for." Jude said in awe, taking the dress out of the bag and holding it to her body.

"You're welcome. May I ask what you need this for?" Dang, she had hoped Portia wouldn't ask any questions.

"I just want to go out with...some friends." Jude replied. She couldn't tell Portia the truth, especially as it was a possibility that Portia knew Tommy, with Darius being his former manager and all.

"Ah okay. Have fun with your, ugh, friends." Jude thanked her again and they hung up. Jude looked at the dress with a large grin. It was exactly what she needed for her plan. Now she only needed shoes, opening her shoe cabinet was horrified to notice that she didn't own a pair of heels. Having the advantage of a stylist she had never needed to buy a pair for herself. Deciding that now was a good time as ever to buy her first pair, she grabbed her purse from the chair next to the door and a pair of converts, of which she owned hundreds, and left her apartment. She walked to the nearest shoe store and approached a shop assistant to help her find the perfect pair.

Two hours she left the shop with the second pair she had tried and with the feeling she had driven the poor young lady crazy. Apparently you couldn't just walk into a shop and ask for 'some shoes with heels', as the assistant had explained to her in a patient tone making her fell like a stupid little girl. You needed to decide between a dozen different types, hundreds of colours and just as many shapes. In the end Jude had chosen some black patent leather peep-toes, they were sexy and comfy at the same time and they matched her dress perfectly.

At home she ate some hot pockets and then put on her dress, curled her hair and applied black mascara, a little bit of grey eye shadow and a red lipstick in the same colour as her dress, all in the matter of a few minutes. She couldn't really understand why Sadie always needed so much time, time was money after all or at least precious. When she looked at her reflection in her bathroom mirror, she couldn't believe her eyes. Back at her stared a smoking-hot woman, who definitely didn't look like 17.

Content with her appearance she left her apartment and hailed a cab, which drove her to the club where she knew Tommy often hung out on Fridays. Getting into the club was easy, the bouncer looked her up and down and nodded. When she passed him, though he grabbed her arm. "Just don't get into trouble, kid or I'll get fired for letting you in, okay?" He whispered in her ear and she nodded and entered the club.

The club was better than she had thought, the music was bearable and the dance floor not overcrowded, though she didn't really took a great interest in that, as she mainly sat at the bar and nipped on a fruity orange drink. Every now and then she would look about to see if Tommy was already there, but she never saw him. Around her fourth drink, she was already a bit tipsy, a guy sat down next to her, signalling the bar tender two shots and then turned his head to the right and looked her up and down. The first time a man had checked her out today had totally creeped her out. She had of course been checked out before, but usually SME were with her at clubs and the men left it at that. This night, though, she was alone and there was nothing precluding the men from coming onto her. She was lucky though, after a few minutes of blatantly ignoring them they would leave her side and go searching for their next target. She hoped this guy would be no difference.

After he had watched her a minute, he grinned and pushed a shot glass filled with a brown liquid towards her. Because she was already slightly drunk and and she had realized with every passed minuted without a sign of Tommy, that he maybe didn't even come to this club tonight or that even when he did, it was possible that he wouldn't get jealous, but may find her cheap and unalluring in this skimpy little dress, because of that she snatched the glass from the guy without thinking and downed it in one gulp. She cringed at the harshness of it and the guy laughed.

"You have to get used to the taste, then it's better." he said and ordered another two shots. "Here try again." Jude grabbed the glass and downed it. This time she expected the following harshness and could enjoy the taste of the drink.

"Better?" Jude nodded and the guy motioned to the bartender to keep it going. They continued knocking the shots back simultaneously and laughed when the other cringed at the end of a drink. After one hour they had drunk 12 shots each and when Jude stood up she wobbled and had to grab a hold of the counter to keep herself steady.

"Hey where ya goin?" The guy slurred and stood up as well.

"Dancin." She replied and staggered to the dance floor, where she started to sway her hips in time to the music. She felt good, even though her anger at Tommy had returned for a while during their drinking spree, it was all gone again and she didn't feel anything at the moment except the beat of the music pulsating in her body, which was good.

She closed her eyes and danced herself through the moving bodies to a quieter spot on the opposite side of the dance floor. There she threw her head back and started moving to the music more freely. Suddenly she felt to hands on her hips pulling her close to the grinding body behind her, she opened her lips in a silent squeal of shock and opened her eyes.

"Did ya really think I would let you leave without you having repaid me for the drinks I bought?" A voice whispered angrily in her ear and she was being turned around forcefully. The guy she had just left at the bar stood behind her, clutching her arm in a twist like grip. His anger seemed to have sobered him up enough to stand steadily on his feet. She struggled against him and tried to free her arm, but he didn't let her go but rather tightened his grip and pulled her closer to him and let his other hand roam her body, from her shoulder over her bare back to her ass and then down to her thigh.

Tommy saw her struggle against the other man and then him hugging her closer and leaped up, pushing through the people separating them. The minute he had seen that Jude didn't seem to dance with him by choice, his anger towards her had disappeared and he had felt an uncontrollable fury rising inside him towards the man. He could see the other man feeling Jude up a few yards away and as soon as he was near enough, he yanked Jude away from the other man's clutches and pulled her towards him. She released a strangled sob and clasped his t-shirt tightly. He looked down at her to make sure she was alright and then turned to the other man.

"Piss off, before I lose myself." He said threateningly and the man smirked unaffected and snotty.

"I didn't do anything. She came onto me with her scanty dress and what was I supposed to do? I'm only a man." The other man said tracing her bare thigh with his fingertips, causing Tommy to growl and turn Jude away from the guy protectively. He felt his anger rising further and stepping forward his clenched fist raised, ready to throw a punch, but was stopped by Jude's scared whimper, so instead he leaned forward intimidatingly so that his nose almost touched the guy's nose.

"If I ever see you near her again, I won't hesitate to punch you." He threatened and then turned around, Jude safely in his arm and led her to his table. There he sat her on a chair and put his jacket over her shoulders to cover her barely clad body from the men's glances. He knelt in front of her and caressed her knee soothingly.

"You're alright?" He asked worriedly. Jude shrugged tiredly and laid her head on his shoulder in exhaustion. He put his arms around her and drew her close. After some minutes of silence, in which Jude enjoyed Tommy's proximity, Tommy retreated a bit, causing Jude to raise her head and look into his eyes confused and he noticed now as his rage had faded that her eyes weren't only tired, but glassy. Still kneeling close to her he felt her warm breath on his face and inhaled it and to his surprise he smelt alcohol. He stood up abruptly, which caused Jude to sway a bit, and anger once again rolled through his body.

"Did you drink?" He looked down at Jude, who looked up at his tone with wide eyes.

"Jude." He yelled waiting for her answer, though he already knew it. She nodded hesitantly and waited for him to blow up and she didn't have to wait long.

"You're 17, what were you thinking?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her up from the chair, making sure his jacket still covered most of her body.

"We're going." He said towards Leon and Owen, who had until now just sat there in silence and watched the scene unfold itself in front of them. They nodded and waved at Jude, who hadn't even noticed them sitting there.

Tommy turned around and stumped to the door with Jude behind him, not caring that she had problems keeping herself upright. He was too mad at her to help her. He couldn't understand how Jude could drink so much that she wasn't even able to defend herself anymore and that all alone in a club. He had thought she was more mature than that.

They left the club and reached his car, he opened the door for her wordlessly and she got in, biting on her lower lip sheepishly. Once they were both seated he started the car and angrily pushed the pedal to the metal, causing to Jude be pressed into the seat and she groaned when her seat belt dig into the flesh of her already rebelling stomach. During the ride an uncomfortable silence descended on them, Tommy was still furious with Jude and the only reason why he kept silent and didn't demand an explanation from her was, because he knew she already was feeling like shit. Jude welcomed the quiet, she felt sick and dizzy. Everything was spinning before her eyes and it didn't help that Tommy was driving like a maniac.

"Tommy." She mumbled, closing her eyes. Tommy looked over shortly then at the street again, ignoring her.

"Tommy, I don't feel so good." Tommy sighed and slammed on the brakes. As soon as the car had stopped Jude retched and fumbled with the car door handle to get it open. Tommy leaned over her and opened it for her. Not a second later she leaned out of the car and threw up. As best as he could from his position Tommy hold her hair back and rubbed gentle circles on her back to calm her. She threw up a second time and then leaned back in her seat, groaning tortured and whipping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"I've got chewing gum at my apartment." Tommy said, his face softened in sympathy, he knew how she must feel right now, he had felt like that many times before and he was sure if he hadn't seen Jude at the club he would have felt the exact same way tomorrow as Jude was right now. Jude nodded and leaned her head against the window. She felt better now, but still not good enough to say much more.

A few minutes later they arrived at his apartment and Tommy got out, walked around the car to Jude's side and opened her door.

"You can walk on your own?" He asked and Jude nodded. Carefully she stood up and wobbled, but Tommy steadied her quickly with his hand to prevent her from falling. She made a few careful steps and Tommy let go off her. After a few metres she stumbled and grabbed hold of Tommy's hand once again.

"Come here." he said throwing her arm around his shoulder and picked her up bridal style, immediately her head rested on his shoulder and he walked with her carefully inside the building and up to his floor. In front of his apartment he sat her slowly on the floor and groped for his keys inside his pockets, once he had found them he opened his door and picked her up again. Once inside he laid her on his bed, where she stayed motionless with her eyes closed against the bright light of his bedroom. Tommy opened his drawer and got out Jude's pyjama. He stepped to the bed and looked at the girl in front of him. His jacket had fallen opened and revealed the dress underneath. Tommy had never though Jude owned something like that, much less wore it. And even though he usually loved his girls in skimpy outfits and Jude looked really hot, he found her just as appealing in her normal day clothes, maybe even more, because ripped jeans and concert t-shirts were just as much Jude as her blond waves and blue eyes. He shook her gently and chuckled quietly when she mumbled something incoherently in her disturbed sleep and rolled over to fall asleep again.

Even though he his fury had faded, he was still mad at her, but that could wait until tomorrow, now he had to get her out of this clothes and then into bed or she would be much more sore than she would feel anyway.

He shook her again and she stirred and looked at him with her big blue eyes half closed and cringled her nose in discontent.

"Let's change into something more comfortable." He said and helped her stand up with her back towards him. With one hand he stabilized her and with the other he unzipped her dress. It fell to the floor and she stepped out of it, only clothed in a blue thong. Tommy helped her pull her blue tank top over her head, then he held her leopard print boxer shorts open, that he had bought her as a joke, and she stepped into them. Now having her fully clothed, Tommy pulled back the blanket and she laid down with a sigh and he covered her carefully.

"You're feeling okay or still sick?"

"Okay." She mumbled closing her eyes. Tommy walked into his bathroom and got ready for bed as well. He had a tiring week behind him and he looked forward to his own comfy bed, even more now that Jude was sleeping there too. The thought that maybe he should sleep on the couch crossed his mind, but he shook it away. He felt like he should sleep there with her to make sure she wouldn't get sick again during the night and aside from that it felt just right.

Slowly as not to disturb her he walked into his bedroom only in his boxers and turned off the light. In the darkness he tiptoed to the bed, careful to avoid any sharp edges; he picked up the blanket and slid in next to her. With one last probing look at Jude he closed his eyes and let his head fall back on the pillow, but opened them again when he felt Jude snuggling closer to him. She laid her head in the crook of his neck, slid her arm over his waist and intertwined one of her legs with his. Tommy hold his breath, when he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her flat to him, so that he could feel her warmth everywhere they touched and her breath on his neck, and let his hand rest on the small of her back, but she just sighed and then was still again. He closed his eyes again and was almost asleep when he heard Jude whispering his name.

"Mhm." He answered half asleep.

"I don't like it when you suck other girls." She mumbled dozily and then fell back asleep.

"I know." He mumbled and drew her even closer, falling into a untroubled sleep for the first time in a week.

* * *

You are amazing!!!

I got 13 reviews for the last chapter and the first 7 ones within 7 hours. I was totally amazed when I signed in and had already so many reviews and readers.

I hope you like this chapter as well and I really tried hard to spell the words right this time, because I've read the last chapter and found about 10 spelling mistakes. For that I'm really sorry. I also just found out that I confused laid and lay in my former chapters. But I think I got it right now.

Now I would be very glad if you could help me with 3 things. Please.

1. I'm looking for a fanfic I've read a few months ago, it was about Tommy and Jude (what else :) ). Tommy was coming back from rehab and he expected that Jude had filled out for divorce, but she didn't and comes picking him up. And they have a daughter, too.

2. I signed up for perfect-illusions, but there it's really complicated to read chapters and I deleted my account and now I don't know if it's already deleted or not, so how long does it take for the side to delete accounts and how can I see it is deleted?

3. I've read a few fanfics in which Spied is together with a Nic, is this person the creation of the authors or does she appear in the show at some point or is mentioned there?

I hope you can help me, I would really appreciate it and please don't forget to review.


	10. The morning after

The next morning Jude woke up once again in Tommy's bed and like the first time Tommy was nowhere to be seen. She opened her eyes warily for a crack and winced as the bright light coming through the half-closed curtains hit her eyes. She shut them again and pulled the comforter over her face; it smelled like Tommy. Taking in a deep breath she smiled and snuggled deeper into the cushions. She felt comfortable and safe there, just as she did last night in Tommy's arm. Even though the evening had ended in a disaster with her puking out of the car, she still felt like the evening had been a success. Because when Tommy had helped her in her trashed state, she had been able to place the feeling she had had all along. What she was feeling wasn't only gratitude, attraction or any of that sort, but true and unadulterated love. And now that she knew that she felt lighter and happier than she had ever had. She felt like finally things would be alright.  
She lay there for a few more minutes, enjoying the warmth and willing her throbbing headache to go away, before she decided to look for Tommy and stood up.

She padded to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, a smile spread across her face when she saw Tommy sitting at the table drinking his signature morning coffee.

He didn't glance up when she entered the kitchen and got herself a cup from the cabinet. "Morning." She greeted him as cheerfully as possible in her hungover state.

"Morning." Tommy muttered not looking up from the paper he was reading. Jude crunched her eyebrows in confusion, so much for everything would be alright, and slowly made her way to the table and sat down opposite from Tommy.

"Why the foul mood? As much as I know I was the one drunk last night, so I'm the only one with a ragging headache." Tommy stood up without a word and opened one of his cabinets and rummaged through it. Jude looked at him irritated, she didn't know what to make of his behaviour. He has always been a quiet person not letting anyone see what he was really feeling, but she had felt like he was comfortable with her and would talk with her about things he normally would keep to himself. But right now he was acting exactly like the jerk she had always thought he would be, when Sadie had once again read to her the stories about him that were printed in the tabloids or when she had seen an interview with him on. Yes, she admitted it. She, Jude Harrison, boyband-hater extraordinaire, had watched interviews with Little Tommy Q, albeit she usually was forced to watch them with Sadie by her mother, who thought even if their daughters had so little in common, maybe they could click musically. Which of course was a waste of effort as both sisters had a total different taste of music and hated the other for not liking the right music.  
Tommy came back to the table with a glass of water and two aspirins. He handed them to Jude and sat down again.

"Thanks." She swallowed them with a big gulp of water and then took a mouthful from her coffee to wash away the after taste from the night before she could still taste in her mouth. For several minutes they sat like that neither one saying a word, the silence only disturbed by the rustle of paper when Tommy turned over a page or by the cling of the cups when one of them sat down their cup on the table.

Finally Jude had enough and she snatched the papers away from Tommy, causing him to jerk up his head in surprise.

"Jude, what the fuck?" He tried to snatch the papers away from her again, but Jude jumped up from her chair and hold them behind her back.

"Yeah, what the fuck. What the fuck is going on with you?" Tommy got up as well and stood in front of Jude. If she didn't know that he would never do anything to hurt her, he would have intimidated her with his hovering stance over her and the scowl on his face.

"With me?" He laughed incredulously. "What is wrong with you? Getting that drunk so that you didn't even know what you were doing?"

"What? You're ignoring me, because I got drunk and danced with some guy?" She looked at him in disbelief. "Believe me I did by far more stupid things than dancing, when I was drunk."

"Dancing? You weren't dancing with him." Tommy closed his and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. He opened them again and looked at Jude with a look she didn't recognize. "The guy was forcing himself on you, Jude. And believe me guys like him don't stop until you have caved in and have given them exactly what they wanted. They always get what they want and they don't care how they get it, Jude. If I hadn't come between you and him and had got you out of his reach he would have raped you." The volume of his voice had increased during his rant until he was yelling at the end.

Jude was stunned into silence, she hadn't thought her stupid drunk behaviour would have such an effect on Tommy. She watched him taking deep breaths in front of her to calm himself down. She took a step towards him and reached out her hand to touch his arm.

"Tommy, I'm-" She started, but Tommy took a step backwards out of her reach and hold his hand up to stop her.

"Save it, Jude." With that he turned around and walked into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Jude sat down again and laid her head in her hands.

"Damn it." She cursed. In her attempt to fix what had been broken between them she had made it worse. Why did she have to screw up everything?

Two hours later Tommy still hadn't emerged from his bedroom and Jude was lying on the couch watching TV. She could have got dressed and then left the apartment, but the fear that if she went now their stubbornness would restrain them from calling the other and they would drift further apart was keeping her from even making as much as a step towards the door.

Tommy had always a bad temper, back in his boy band days he was known for getting into bar fights and destroying hotel rooms. People had called him an arrogant selfish prick, who thought he ruled the world. But the truth was behind this bad boy image was a insecure little boy, who tried to fit into the world he was thrown into without showing any weakness. And even though he had matured since then and knew where he stood in his life, his temper came to the surface from time to time, when he felt something unsettling him. Like the situation with Jude. He knew that he had overreacted, the boy had obviously been feeding the drinks to Jude to make her compliant, he had used that strategy himself before, not that he had ever forced himself on any girl, they usually went willingly. He would only take advantage of their inebriated state to get what he wanted. If they still hadn't wanted to participate in his desired activity he would go to the next girl, there were always enough to choose from.

But the most important thing that his experience had taught him was that the girls no matter how innocent and strong-willed they were they could easily be persuaded to drink more than they usually would. Although he didn't think that Jude was that innocent, she was after all only 17 and had admitted to having more than one experience with alcohol.

So the fact that Jude got totally smashed last night wasn't really what made him angry, the real reason was: he was afraid. Not of Jude of course, she couldn't really do him any harm, physically at least, but afraid of the feelings she awoke in him. Last night anger wasn't the only feeling boiling inside him. When he had her back safe in his arms he had felt many things: anger, relief, protectiveness, but most importantly love. And that terrified him. Because if he really loved Jude, it was inevitable that she would get hurt.

Jude didn't know these things though and to her his behaviour probably seemed to be completely ungrounded. Tommy sighed and closed his eyes. He had a lot to make up for to Jude, not only for his behaviour last night and this morning, but also at his birthday and after their almost kiss.

He listened for any sound in his apartment, but couldn't hear anything. Was Jude gone? Had he driven her away? He sat up on his bed in slight panic and looked around his room frantically. He let out a big gush of air he didn't know he had been holding when he found that Jude's dress was still where he had left it last night. That meant that either Jude was still there or she had left his apartment in her pyjamas. In any other city he would be relieved right now, no taxi driver would transport a half naked girl, but this was New York, where he had got a lift only dressed in a towel without much problems. So he stood up from the bed, where he had lain for the last two and a half hours and made his way into his hallway.

Relief washed over him when he heard the gentle buzz of the TV coming from the direction of his living-room. He rounded the corner and saw Jude lying on his couch, watching what seemed to be an old movie. He made a few steps forwards and stopped next to the couch.

"Hey." He said gently, causing Jude to turn her head and look up at him.

"Hey." She said back, turning her attention to the TV again.

"Listen, Jude." He rubbed his hand over his face in exasperation, he wasn't good at this whole apologizing thing-never having done it before. "I'm sorry. About this morning. I was...I don-"

"It's okay."

"What?" He asked dumbfounded. He had thought he would have to grovel on his knees for hours begging for her forgiveness.

"I said it was okay. I know you've had your reasons for reacting this way and I really wasn't a saint last night. So I understand and it's okay." She explained averting her eyes from the TV to look at him for a moment and then returning her gaze to the movie.

"Okay." He mumbled baffled and lifted Jude's feet up to sit down on the couch next to her and placed them on his lap.

They both knew that they shouldn't leave things like that. That they should talk about why either one reacted the way they did, because otherwise it would come to bite them in their butts one day. But at the moment they just wanted everything to be over and normal between them again, they hadn't spent a day together in over a week and they both missed each other. And even though Tommy had opened up to her over the last few weeks, Jude still didn't know if making him talk about why he had reacted the way he did would make him retreat from her again and if in the end it would hurt their relationship more than if they didn't talk about it at all.

After that morning Tommy and Jude continued their friendship like nothing had ever happened. It wasn't until two weeks later that anyone brought the subject back up. It was a Sunday and they were at Jude's apartment, where they had enjoyed their free day together by not really doing anything. They were both sitting on Jude's bed, over the covers, talking. It was a ritual they had developed after their fight, before they would go to their respective bed or couch, they would sit on Jude's or Tommy's bed, depending on where they were staying, and would continue talking. It wasn't something they had decided on to improve their communication. It was just something that had happened once when Tommy really wanted to go to bed and Jude had still something interesting to tell him after that it happened again and then again and now they did it every time. Tommy was in the middle of telling Jude about the new artist he would produce, now that Leon was going off to a North America tour his boss had finally given him permission to produce another artist, when Jude jumped up and left her bedroom, leaving Tommy alone on the bed.

"You're okay?" Tommy yelled, getting up from the bed when she hadn't returned in 10 minutes.

"Yeah, just looking for something.--Got it." Came the reply from the direction of Jude's living-room. She came back holding a white envelope.

"What's that?"

"Sit." She said grinning widely and Tommy complied and sat down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Jude climbed on the bed and knelt next to him so that she was facing him. "This is your present. I forgot about it until now." She said apologetically holding it towards him. He took it and opened the papery wrapper carefully looking up at a still grinning Jude, when he saw the words 'gift certificate', but Jude motioned for him to continue and he took the paper inside out curiously and unfolded it. He read the description and looked up incredulous.

"You bought me a bungee-jump?"

"Yeah, you said you always wanted to do that. I thought you would like it... you can take another person, it's a tandem jump." She started to ramble when he still hadn't moved or said anything. "But you don't have to do it, if you don't like it...I could change it...I know it was a bad idea...I'll change-" She was cut off by Tommy when he pulled her against him so that she was half lying on top of him and enveloped her in a hug. His arms tight around her middle.

"It's perfect. Thanks." Jude leaned her head back a bit to look at his face, which was graced by a big smile. His eyes were gleaming with excitement and joy and Jude finally released the lip she had started biting nervously when she first hadn't got the reaction she had hoped for. The movement causing Tommy's eyes to fall on her plump abused lip and then snapping up to her eyes again, catching the same look he had seen there in her kitchen before their almost kiss. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what the look was, something between excitement, nervousness, hope and trust. It was the trust he saw so clearly reflected in Jude's eyes that made him forget every reason why he shouldn't do this and he captured her lips with his. Jude's body went rigid momentarily, before she closed her eyes and let herself fall into the kiss. His eyes also closed, he pulled her closer to him and she wrapped her arms around him, tracing the firm muscles on his back with her fingertips. His tongue caressed her bottom lip asking for permission to enter which she gave him immediately with a small content moan. Their tongues fought for dominance until Jude surrendered and let Tommy control the kiss. He took advantage of that instantly by flipping them over so that he was hovering over her and deepened the kiss a bit more as his hands went to the back of her head, putting her in a better angle for him to kiss her, exploring her mouth with his tongue and tasting the sweetness inside. When he finally released her mouth they were both breathing heavily and gazing into each others eyes.

This time it was Jude who attacked him. She pushed on his shoulder causing him to roll back on his back and sat down on his lap, straddling him, before she crashed her lips against his and kissed him passionately. Tommy responded eagerly, moving his lips against hers. His hands slipped under her nightshirt, which was in fact a t-shirt she had sneaked from Tommy's drawer, and stroked the soft skin of her stomach, making Jude shiver slightly. Jude's hands were in Tommy's hair pulling at it gently, causing Tommy to open his mouth and groan. This used Jude as her invitation to nibble on his lower lip and then slide her tongue into his mouth. Tommy was just about to move his hands, that were still stroking her stomach, further up her body to feel more of her soft and smooth skin, when suddenly they heard music coming from the nightstand. They broke away from each other and groaned in annoyance, then looked at each other smiling and Jude leaned down to give him a chaste kiss before she slid from Tommy's lap and sat down on the bed while he grabbed his cell phone and opened it.

"Yeah?" He grunted into the phone.

"Oh, hey." His expression changed from annoyance to surprise and he stood up from the bed and walked out of the room. Jude watched him leave, unabashedly checking out his taut behind, and lay down on her bed waiting for Tommy to come back. After a while and he still hadn't come back, she got up and made her way into the living-room where Tommy sat on the couch, just closing his phone when she appeared in the doorway.

"Hey." she whispered, stopping in the doorway.

"Hey." he said back, rubbing over his face tired. "That was my boss. He wants me to come in early tomorrow. Apparently there's some artist coming in that wants me to produce their next single. Jayson didn't say much, it's all very cryptic."

"That's great, right? Then you can show what you have in you to another label." She said excited, causing Tommy to chuckle on her enthusiasms.

"Yeah, but it means early and late hours at the studio, probably a prima donna as an artist and more stress on the album, that I'm actually producing later on."

"But isn't it worth that? And maybe the artist isn't that bad, maybe he or she is fun and you can try things on their songs you always wanted to do." She reasoned and he nodded in agreement.

"You're right." He stood up and yawned. "I'll better go to bed then." He disappeared into the bathroom without another glance at Jude leaving her alone. She stood there for a moment stunned into immobility by his casual behaviour, then she went back to her bedroom and crawled into her bed and lay under the blanket waiting expectantly for Tommy to come back. After a few minutes she heard the bathroom door open and held her breath, but when she heard soft footstep retreating away from her bedroom to the living-room she let it out in a disappointed whoosh and turned on her side closing her eyes. Sleeping in the same bed was maybe a bit fast, they had only kissed for the first time and she didn't even know exactly what the kiss meant for them. Were they together, was it just something that happened in the spur of the moment? Did Tommy wanted to leave it at that? Did he wanted more? Did he even think about it at all or didn't a kiss mean anything to him? Did he kiss girls like that frequently? Jude almost groaned out loud. Of course he did that. She saw him sucking on a girl's boob after he had known her for a few hours. Of course a kiss with a girl he had been friends with for weeks wouldn't mean anything to him. He probably regretted kissing her, because he knew she would think more of it than it was.

She was so deep in her depressing thoughts, that she didn't feel the bed dip down and a body lying down next to her until he reached over and drew her closer to him, kissing her neck. She turned around surprised and looked into the sapphire eyes of Tommy. A smiled settled on her lips and Tommy leaned down and gave her a kiss. It wasn't as passionate and intense as the others but therefore all the more loving and gentle. When he released her lips again, he smiled down at her.

"Good night, girl."

"Good night, Tommy." With one more peck on his lips, she turned around again, snuggling into his body, that spooned her and closed her eyes. Tommy nuzzled her neck, took a deep breath, inhalling her hair that smelled like vanilla shampoo and closed his eyes as well. They drifted into a deep sleep, not for the first times in each others arms, but for the first time with the feeling that everything was exactly as it should be.

* * *

My 10th chapter, wow. When I started writing this story I would have never thought I would get this far and that so many people would actually read it. So thank all of you, who reviewed all my chapters. I really hope you will continue reading and enjoying this story.

I apologize for the wait between this chapter and the last. I had the first 2000 words written in one day. But then I found out how hard it is to write a kissing scene. Surprisingly I found it rather difficult and I still think the scene seems a bit forced. But I hope you like it anyway and I hopefully will get better at this.

Don't forget to review! I love reading what you think.


	11. Frustrations

She should be very happy, she had every reason to. She lived in her own apartment in a big city hundreds of miles away from patronizing parents or a mothering sister. She could do as she pleased as long as she continued studying with her tutor, which she found out was way more fun than going to high school. And in addition to that since two weeks ago Tom Quincy was her boyfriend. Okay it wasn't yet a long term relationship and she wasn't even sure if he was her boyfriend as they hadn't had the time to talk about them since then. Well she had the time, what could she really do alone? But he worked non stop on that damn single for that artist she had still yet to meet. And that was exactly were her problem was. Ever since they had kissed Tommy spent less and less time with her, it was as if he had wanted to kiss her really bad and now that he had reached his goal there was no use for him anymore to spend time with her, which was really frustrating for her as she now wanted to spend more time with him than ever.

It wasn't that they only saw each other less often, they also didn't talk to each other on the phone anymore. It was as if Tommy was all but ignoring her, which she didn't like one bit. The last time they had actually talked to each other properly was the morning after their kiss. They had got up early so that Tommy could go home before heading to the studio and ate breakfast together or more like drank their morning coffee together. Tommy was rather nervous about his new artist, which Jude found oddly enough cute, and he wasn't in any shape to read the newspaper calmly like he usually did, they therefore talked about when they wanted to go bungee-jumping together. Tommy had insisted that Jude would jump with him, so they decided to go before the weather would get too nasty to jump as it was likely that Jude would be back home when the weather would change again in spring.  
That was the last real conversation they had, after that Jude had called him twice, once to ask if he wanted to come over, which he had rather rudely declined and then again only three days ago to ask if she should come to the studio, because they hadn't seen each other so long and she knew that Tommy probably wouldn't be able to come visit her before the artist hadn't left again. But Tommy declined even that offer, almost yelling at her for interrupting his recording session, and Jude hadn't called him since.

She didn't know if she should be jealous or worried about Tommy spending so much time with the artist. Her rational side told her that it was unnecessary, as she didn't even know if the artist was female and even if they were Tommy sounded much too stressed and tense to have released any tension with anybody and she didn't even know if they were together or not or still friends or nothing at all. So there really was no reason to be jealous or to worry, but she couldn't help but wonder sometimes if maybe Tommy didn't call her, because he had found someone better than her, someone more experienced and probably closer to his age. With these thoughts her insecurities came back full force, that maybe she wasn't enough for him and she had misinterpreted his actions.

She tried to distract herself from her thoughts by playing some songs on her guitar, it was the first time since she moved to New York that she had touched her guitar and even though she didn't play any of her songs, it felt liberating. As if she was the little 12 year old girl again, that finally was able to play all of her idols' songs. Back than she had been devastated that nobody had really cared for her accomplishment, only her dad had listened to two of the songs before he had to pick up Sadie from one of her cheerleader practices. Now she was glad that no one was here to listen to her playing, it felt good to play something for herself, she could play what she wanted and how she wanted it, she could change the songs playing them faster or slower and nobody was there to complain or to tell her to do it better like so many now did with her music at home. She felt like she hadn't any control over her music anymore, as if she really was just a puppet on a string played by whoever was in charge of her music, so mostly Darius. But here in her living-room with no one around and while playing songs by Queen, Sum 41 and other rock bands, here she felt in control, she felt like herself.

She played for hours sitting on her living-room floor, the sun streaming through her window illuminating her in its light and causing a warm atmosphere. The first time she stayed up was when her cell phone rang five hours after she had last checked the time. She considered letting it ring, but a part in her still hoped that maybe it was Tommy and she answered.

It wasn't Tommy, but Spied.

"Hey, Dude. I have great news." Spied yelled into the phone and she could here loud commotion in the background.

"What is going on? Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport and -here it comes- am on my way to New York."

"What?" Jude asked surprised, the last time she had talked to Spied, a mere week before, there wasn't any plan for him to come to New York.

"Yeah, isn't it great? Kyle and Wally are coming with me, we're gonna rock New York. Woo ho!" Jude laughed at his enthusiasms.

"Not that I'm not glad that you're coming, but why?"

"Karma had recorded a new single in New York, which is going to be released over there to make her more known you know, well, and Darius decided that she should shoot the video there, too and so she is staying longer than planned and after that she has a few days off and we thought it would be a great opportunity to come visit you."

"When do you arrive?" She asked noticing that it was already past 8 pm.

"In about three hours, we can board the plane in an hour and half."

"Shall we meet tomorrow or do you want to do something today?"

"Nah, I think tomorrow is fine, I don't think that we would be ready to go out until after midnight with checking in and freshening up and everything, so it's not worth it, and we have to be at Karma's set for the video around 8am. Maybe we could meet there and after the shooting is finished we can eat lunch or dinner or whatever together."

"Sounds good. I'll come around 9. Where is the shooting?"

Jude wrote down the address and after that they talked a little more and then hung up. Looking at the time she decided that it was still early enough to call, but late enough that Tommy probably has already left the studio. She dialled his number telling herself that this would be the last time she would contact him, if he declined her offer once again.

After she had let it ring a few times she heard someone picking up.

"Hello?" She heard Tommy's voice, he sounded tired but at least not angry.

"Hey, it's me, Jude."

"I know, caller id, you know?" Jude rolled her eyes she could practically hear the smirk in his voice. But still she was secretly glad that he seemed to be his old self again albeit tired.

"Yeah, yeah. I wanted to ask you something." She said, biting her lip. She wasn't sure how Tommy would react to meeting her friends. Would it sound too much like commitment to him? His record didn't scream commitment after all, being the biggest man-whore in the early 2000's and everything.

"What is it, girl?" Jude smiled at the familiar term of endearment and took a deep breath.

"Some of my friends are in town and we want to meet. And I wanted to ask if you...ugh...wanted to come with us?" She said in one breath, waiting impatiently for his answer. After a short pause Tommy spoke again.

"You want me to meet your friends?" Jude's hope that he would agree was crushed by the less than enthusiastic tone in his voice.

"Yeah." She muttered, disappointment seeping through her body.

"When?"

"Tomorrow." She said, already defeated.

"I..ugh...can't." He answered hesitantly.

"You can't?" She screeched. "Do you have a recording session?"

"No, I got some other things to do." At his answer anger bubbled up inside of Jude, if he didn't want to come, he should say so and not make some pathetic excuse.

"Other things to do, okay." She said angrily, cursing herself in her head for actually believing that Tommy would really want something to do with her. At least now she could face the ugly truth without having still hope somewhere in her mind that they had a chance.

"Yeah, I...ugh...hav-" Her anger boiled over at his stammered words and she cut him off, not caring anymore what lies he would tell her.

"You know what Tommy? Save it. I don't care anymore what you have to do. Call me when when you have time for me again, if you don't, well then goodbye." She heard his sharp intake of breath and his attempt to say something, but she didn't wait for him to say anything anymore and hung up, if he had something to say to her, he could call, but she doubted he would. She laid her cell phone on the coffee table and sank into the comfy cushions of her couch. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, but willed them not to fall. She wouldn't cry a tear over Tommy, it was worthless. They weren't even a couple and now she just had to accept for herself that they would never be.

Tommy let the phone sink from his ear and looked at it disbelievingly. Did Jude just really hung up on him? He shook his head to clear it and stretched his arms and legs on his bed, where he had nicked for a few minutes before Jude's call. The last two weeks had been exhausting, he had spent every day from 9 am to 11 pm, sometimes even later, recording or mixing at the studio. The new artist was exactly like he had expected: a diva and not a very good singer. He had tried his best to make her sound good and to make the song sound not too cheesy. Because naturally she didn't write her own stuff, she had a writer back home, who wrote for her. And what a song they had written for her, Tommy had never heard such a cheep and corny song before. Normally Tommy wouldn't produce such a song, but his boss and the artist's boss had agreed on this and what could he have done against that?  
But not only did the one artist work his last nerve, Jayson had scheduled him for his usual artists as well, who he had to push back for after his extended recording session with this tedious artist.

And to add to that he had been a complete dick towards Jude the whole two weeks, letting his frustrations out on her every time she called. Which unsurprisingly led them to the telephone conversation they just had, which left him feeling like she had just broken up with him. Which was complete nuts, because firstly he had never experienced a break-up, as he had no relationships, so he didn't even know how a break-up would feel and second they weren't even together at least not really even though he had referred to her as 'his girl' last week as he was asked who was on the phone. But still he couldn't shake off the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. He groaned and threw his arms over his head. He knew that falling asleep now would be out of the question and he had to be up again at half past 6 and he had the feeling as if he hadn't slept in weeks. For a short moment he thought that maybe calling Jude would things better, but he decided against it as she assumedly wouldn't pick up anyway. Deciding to give her time to calm down and call her when he had more time like she said he should, he closed his eyes and fell asleep more easily than he had thought, but his exhaustion was just too big to worry longer.

The next morning Jude woke up at 8 am. Later than she would have liked to wake up and not as comfortable either. Her back was killing her from falling asleep on her normally comfy couch, that had turned into some kind of uncomfortable cot over night or that was what her back felt like. She drank her morning coffee in a hurry and showered and dressed just as quickly. She didn't want to lose any more time that she could spend otherwise with her friends. Grabbing her cellphone and purse she glanced at her phone and just like she had predicted Tommy hadn't called. Shoving the depressing thoughts that wanted to take hold of her mind to the back of her mind, she hurried down the stairs and left her house. Fortunately she lived on a busy street, so that she had no problem stopping a passing cab. She told the driver where to go and slumped into the backseat. It was now shortly before 9 am, she would be right on time for the shooting to begin. From experience she knew that a video shooting usually started one hour after the artist arrived, because the make-up and hair had to be done on them and they had to change clothes and last changes had to be made on the set before the shooting could finally start.

The cab stopped in front of something that looked like an old storehouse near the harbour, Jude paid the driver and opened the door but before she got out of the cab she checked the area for any paparazzi. She was slightly worried that Canadian paparazzi would appear here because of Karma and then would spot her. The paparazzi in New York left her alone, probably because she wasn't known here and they didn't recognize her. Because of that she was glad that she didn't do the North America tour with Shay, but the Canadian tour with SME.

The hall she entered was set up as if for a photo shooting plus some film cameras and chairs for the director and other important people. People were hurrying from one point to another, cell phones on their ears or clip boards in their hand ordering other people around. In the middle of that chaos sat Spiederman on a chair with his cell phone in his hands presumably playing some goofy game. She walked towards him, stopping only when she was standing right in dront of him. She could hear the familiar sound of Spied's favourite mobile phone game and rolled her eyes.

"You're still playing that game?" Spied looked up at her voice and grinned.

"Yeah, I almost have a new record. My last one was 347578, now I'M at 347570 and if i get the next banana I'll get an extra-" He was interrupted by a melody coming from his phone.

"Shit, now I lost. Thanks Harrison."

"Anytime, Spiederman." She sat down next to him and looked at the set in front of her. "So tell me what is this video about?"

"A photo shooting." Spied answered, waving with his hand towards the set, still looking darkly at his cell phone.

"Yeah, I see that. More details, please." Spied sighed and tucked his cell phone in his pants pocket

"The video is about Karma, who prepares for a photo shooting, doing her make up, choosing clothes and so on, while she does that she sings about what she wants from men diamonds, bags et cetera. A man watches her doing this and at the end of the video he comes to her and jingles with his car keys and she says 'it just a song.'. She leaves with her choreograph and the man stays, looking miserable. Yeah, that's it."

"Sounds...ugh...like Karma." Jude smiled and bumped her shoulder against Spied's.

"Yeah, I'm just glad it just a song though, because I couldn't give all these things to her. Hell, half of the things I don't even know." Jude laughed.

"You must give her something or she wouldn't have stayed with you this long."

"Well, I do give her something." He wiggled his eyebrow and Jude made a motion as if she retched.

"Let's hope one of the guys in her video can't give her more."

"Nah, they're all taken, at least I think so. I don't know about the guy who is playing the man watching Karme. Karma said he had a girl, whatever that means. But he was her producer, so if he wanted to make a move he would have done that already. You know before her boyfriend came." He said beating himself on his chest like a big chimpanzee.

"Yeah, because you are so scary." Jude teased, causing Spied to glare at her. "So where is your only-spoiled-in-a-song girlfriend?" Jude asked to change the subject.

"In makeup or in the cloak room, at least doing something girly. Or she is hiding from her producer he is a real pain in the ass. Karma said he was like this the whole time, but today it's worse than ever. She thinks he had broken up with his girl, but I don't think so, a guy like him would never pine for a girl." He replied, rolling his eyes at his girlfriend's alleged stupidity. Then he became serious. "But anyway be nice to her, Jude. She's my girlfriend."

"I'm always nice." Jude huffed.

"Yeah, right." Spied said sarcastically. "But I mean it. Be nice, Karma has changed over the last few weeks. She isn't as bitchy anymore as in the beginning, she has found her niche in the business and doesn't see you as competition anymore. I know you hate her because of the whole ratting on you and embarrassing you thing, but please be nice, for me." Spied pleaded with her and Jude groaned.

"Okay. I try."

"Thanks." They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching the people running by, until Jude noticed that two of the troublesome threesome hadn't appeared yet.

"Tell me, where is the rest of SME?"

"Getting coffee for Canada's hottest rock goddess." Spied grinned and Jude once again rolled her eyes.

"Mr Quincy you can have your makeup done now." Tommy nodded and stood up from the couch in his dressing room, following the lively woman into the room for make-up were a twenty something chick with crazy hair and a chewing gum in her mouth greeted him. He sat down in the chair in front of her and she began covering his face with some powder. All the while talking without drawing one breath in between. Tommy didn't really listened but it seemed he had the 'luck' to get a former Boys Attacker as a makeup artist. From time to time he nodded or smiled, but didn't take part in the conversation, the artist didn't seem to expect him to though. Instead he was playing with his cell phone in his hand, debating over if he should call Jude or not. He had sworn himself he wouldn't call her until he had more time, but he hated the uncertainty of where Jude and him stood. He was just about to connect the call when the makeup artist finished his work. He got up, thanked her and got back to his dressing room. He still had a few minutes before he had to go, he didn't look forward to it though. Even though his artist was slightly calmer now than in the studio, probably because her boyfriend was here, who was some sort of surfer-boy type. Tommy would have never thought his artist was attracted by this kind of guy, he had thought her boyfriend would be some kind of wanna-be millionaire, who calls every girl chica.

15 minutes later just as he had thought the same lively woman came back again and told him he had to come. He checked his appearance in his mirror one last time before he left the room to face the last thing before the most exhausting two weeks he had ever had would finally end.

* * *

Tada! I'm back. I'm sorry that it took me so long. I would really like to say I've been busy, but that's not true. I had free time en masse, but somehow I didn't get an idea how to continue this story until thursday morning. It's now saturday 11 pm over here, so I wrote it in three days.

Once again I hope you liked the chapter and will now push the text next to the weird speech bubble (I myself liked the other button better, it changed colors^^) and review.

Thanks anyone who reviewed the last chapter I felt really bad, that I got such a feedback, but couldn't give you something back in return sooner. Damn writers block.

Now some good news, I have already some ideas how the next chapter will go and will start writing tomorrow, so expect the next chapter sooner than this one.

I didn't check this chapter for any spelling mistakes etc, so if you find some tell me and I'll change them.

Kisses,

Breakingaway.


	12. The Video Shoot

**I have edited this chapter now and hope I havent't missed any mistakes. For those who have already read the chapter I haven't changed anything drastic only some little things (prevented Tommy from going into the same room twice and squash his own hand and I added why Jude slapped Chaz, of course for blatant flirting what else ;) )**

**Have a Happy New Year.**

* * *

Jude watched yet again another scene being shot in front of her, stifling a yawn she turned her head towards Spied sitting next to her who had the same bored expression she surely had on her face. Watching a video being shot wasn't half as interesting as shooting one yourself. Even though Karma was pretty good at it, Jude had the feeling that they hadn't made any progress in the last hour. Up to now, Karma had given some guy a lap dance, had done girly things with two girls and had writhed between silver balloons. But they hadn't done any of the scenes Jude was waiting for. She was really curious about Karma's producer, firstly because she wanted to know who she had to pity for being in one small studio with her for almost two weeks and then because even though she still hadn't decided anything concerning her music career, she couldn't wait to meet new people from the biz and maybe make new connections, who could be useful later. Of course only if she decided to continue her career.

Sighing she leaned over to Spied. "When is this producer guy showing up?" Spied turned to her, looking at her curiously. "I really want to meet him."

"Why? You want to let the music flow again?"

"For the last time, I'm not ready yet." Jude sighed, ever since she had left Canada everyone, Spied included, wanted to know, every time they talked, if she had made a decision yet, but she had to answer in the negative each time. She knew that they meant no harm and were just truly waiting for her decision, but she got tired of the questions, why couldn't they just let her be? She needed time, for god's sake.

"I know, chill dude." Spied appeased her, he knew that you couldn't force Jude to make her decision and he understood her uncertainty, so much had happened to her in a short span of time that she needed time to absorb and consider her options. It wouldn't do anyone any good, if she made a rash decision that she would regret in a few months.

"So when does he appear?" Jude repeated her question.

"No idea, probably soon." Spied answered, watching his girlfriend talk to the director. "You have any ideas what we can do after this?"

"Yeah, I thought we could go eat burgers, I haven't had one in years and then we could go to some club or someth-"

"Wait, you're living alone without anybody caring what you eat and you haven't eaten a burger? I thought you would be living of those with how much you love them." Spied interrupted incredulous.

"I know, when I realized it a few days ago, I was shocked too, but we usually eat something homemade or order Thai." Jude shrugged her shoulders, if she was truthful she would take one of Tommy's homemade dinners over a burger anytime, but seriously who wouldn't?

"Hold on again." Spied closed his eyes a crease appearing between his eyebrows as if he was deep in thoughts. "Who is we?" He opened his eyes again and Jude blushed.

"Ugh...a friend of mine and me, we usually eat together, mostly take-out, but sometimes he cooks for me." She explained watching a grin spread on Spied's face.

"Ah a he! So that's why you tell everyone you aren't ready to come home, I wouldn't come home either if I would have someone here for some sweet loving and homemade dinners."

"It's not like that, we're friends. Good friends. But not such good friends." Jude added seeing Spied's look.

"Of course, I mean every guy cooks homemade dinners for his good friends. I do it all the time." He quipped, but then grew more serious. "Am I going to meet him?"

"Probably not, I don't want to scare him off." She teased back. "No seriously, you probably won't meet him, we had some kind of a falling out."

"What? Why? What did he do?"

"I didn't know you were such a gossip." Jude sighed. "If you have to know he was a real jackass for the last two weeks and I got tired of always been yelled at and his bad mood."

"It's his lose you know, if he doesn't realize how amazing you are and comes back begging on his knees to forgive him, then he's not worth it."

"Thanks, Spied. You're a really my best friend. I didn't realize however that you had become such a girl." She grinned and dodged Spied's friendly punch laughing.

"What's going on here?" Kyle asked from behind them and they turned around. During their conversation they hadn't noticed that the director had called a break and everyone was bustling about them.

"Nothing. We just decided what we wanted to do after this is over." Jude replied, throwing Spied a meaningful look, who nodded. The conversation about Tommy would stay between them.

"Do tell." Wally joined them, too and they started discussing their evening activities. They decided that Jude's suggestion worked for all of them, but added a trip to Jude's apartment in between dinner and the club to survey the 'temple of freedom' as Wally had called it.

Tommy followed the little woman through a hallway into a big hall, where the sets were set up. The director had already talked to him before he had gone to make-up and he knew what he had to do. Frankly the video was just as bad as the song, but Jayson had threatened him to do it. Either he did this video or he would go to LA for another week to scout talents. And after two crazy weeks in which he had barely had the time to sleep in his own bed he wanted to stay home, so he took the lesser of two evils. And then there was the Jude factor, it surprised himself how much it bothered him that he hadn't seen her in two weeks and that they now were kind of fighting or whatever it was called that they were doing. He hadn't much experience with relationships or stuff like that, so he wasn't sure.

They entered a small room on the side of the big warehouse, where the shooting for the next scene was taking place, and the woman led Tommy to where Karma, his artist, was standing

"Hey, Tommy." Karma said, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

He mumbled a short greeting, before ignoring her again. He had had enough of her in the last two weeks and was glad when he didn't have to pretend to like her anymore, even though he hadn't made a good job at doing so to begin with.

"Tommy?" He heard his name being called and looked up and almost groaned when he saw that it was Karma who had called him. She was now closer to him than she was before and he took a step back to keep a distance between them. Was she trying to put a move on him? Wasn't her boyfriend somewhere around here?

"What?" He growled annoyed, making her raise her eyebrow in surprise.

"I just wanted to apologize." She said. Now it was Tommy's turn to be surprised. He had heard many words coming out of this mouth during the last weeks, but an apology was not among them.

"Apologize?"

"Yeah." She said ruefully. "I know that I've been a bitch these two weeks and I know that it's sometimes hard to work with me." At this he huffed, causing her to grin slightly. "But the thing is that's my image, people expect me to be like that and I sometimes forget to turn this bitchiness off. Especially when I'm stressed and things don't run as I want them to. So I'm sorry for being like that, even though I have to say you were even grumpier than I was."

Even though Karma's attitude had been the reason for many of his frustrations, he accepted her apology. He knew what it was like to have to fill out a certain image. Where people expected one to act in a certain way, no matter if one really felt like doing it. Most of the time he hadn't complained, who teenage box didn't want to appear on swanky parties, drink champagne right from the bottle or make out with hot ass girls? But after a while even that bored him and he started to truly act out. Causing everyone to feel confirmed in their previous assumption that he was a bad boy.

"So-" Karma's voice once again snapped him out of his thoughts. "now that we have got the whole apology thing out of the way. Do you want to go out tonight with some of my friends and me? I don't know what they have planned yet, but I think we'll go to a club or something."

Tommy winced, he could practically see it in front of him. Five or six of Karma's girlfriends around him, squealing at him and yanking his short to make him pay attention to their brainless babbling. No thank you. He was about to decline when Karma, who seemed to have interpreted his facial expression correctly, started to speak again.

"My friends consist of three boys and only one girl, who is alright, so don't worry, there won't be any squealing on their part tonight." She said with a wink.

"Well, I'll consider it. I'm not sure if I'm free." He first wanted to fix the Jude situation.

"Oh date with your 'girl'?" Karma asked, using air quotes.

"Yeah." he answered, because it was true even after their fight, she was still his girl and he was making damn sure that she knew that.

The next half an hour Tommy hadn't any time to think about how he would do that, though, because after the director had called their attention, they had begun shooting the rest of the video, where Tommy was involved and Tommy tried very hard to concentrate so that the day could end as soon as possible.

Jude and SME had left the warehouse in search of food shortly after the break had begun, now about an hour later they reentered the hall with their stomachs full of Chinese take-out and strong coffee.

Inside they were shooting a scene where Karma was leaving her photo shoot. They didn't really care for the shooting anymore so SME and Jude sat down on their chairs again as quietly as possible and started to whisper among themselves. That was until Jude heard a smooth but slightly raspy voice talking. A familiar voice. A vocie that she knew like her own and her head jerked up to the source of the voice and when her suspicions were confirmed she didn't know if she wanted to cry or laugh. Spied seeing her strange facial expression followed her line of sight and frowned.

"Isn't that lil' Tommy Q?" He asked perplexed.

"Don't let him hear you calling him that." Jude answered smiling deciding that it was a good sign that he was here. That meant at least that he hadn't found someone else at least not in Karma, because no matter what you thought about Karma, there was one thing that everyone who had spent more than five minutes in her presence was sure of and that was that she was absolutely in love with Spied. So there was at least one less thing Jude had to worry about.

"Don't tell me you are happy about meeting him? Didn't you slap the last boybander you met?" Spied asked incredulously. Refering to her meeting with Chaz, where she had been so riled up by his blatant flirting that she had slapped him.

"We've met already, Spied, and Tommy isn't like Chaz at all." She answered, because he wasn't. Yes, he was cocky sometimes and liked to tease her, but he never overstepped her bounderies.

"Of course you have met. Why wouldn't two Canadian musician living in New York meet? There are only about 8 million other people living here."

"We've met through a mutual friend." Jude explained and it was true they had met through Owen, she didn't have to add that now Tommy and her were better friends than her and Owen ever were.

"Oh, so he's nice?"

"Yeah, he's great."_ When he isn't a prick with a bad mood_ She added in her mind.

"That's good, because I think Karma wanted to invite him to the club tonight."

"What?" Jude whisper yelled.

"Yeah, as an apology, because he had to put up with her."

"Oh." Karma actually apologized to someone? "Did he say yes?"

"I don't know, I haven't talked to her since this morning." Spied replied, glancing at his girlfriend, who was still shooting some scene.

Jude didn't know if she wanted Tommy to come with them or not. On the one hand she was excited about the idea of him meeting her friends, she knew they would go along quite well, but on the other hand there was the whole fighting-thing between them, that she wanted to sort out before they were forced to spent time together. How awkward would it be to have to act as if nothing were wrong when they both wanted nothing to do with each other? But what could she do?

Before she could decide what to do though, the director had called the video finshed and Karma sauntered over with Tommy following her reluctantly. Jude tried to hide as best as she could behind Spied, but Spied, the traitor, jumped up and kissed Karma as soon as she arrived at their chairs, leaving her open to Tommy's sight.

Tommy hadn't seen her yet having pulled out his cell phone to check for any message or something. He really didn't want to meet these guys right now. No what he wanted was to drive home, shower and then start his groveling, he still hadn't any idea how he would do it, but he knew it had to be done or the thing between him and Jude would never be solved.  
Finally Karma and Spied released each others lips and turned to the others.

"Guys, this is Tommy, my producer." She said pointing at Tommy, who quickly put his phone away and nodded in greeting without actually paying attention. How long would this take? "Tommy, these are Kyle, Wally, Jude and last but not least by boyfriend Spiedy." She said excitedly, planting a kiss on Spied's cheek.

"I prefer Spied actually." Spied clarified giving Karma a pointed look, who pouted. Tommy, however, didn't pay attention to him at all. He was busy staring at the blond girl sitting next to the guy, who was introduced as Wally, and who was looking at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Tommy Quincy. Nice seeing you again." She said nicely with only a hint of sarcasm. Tommy was surprised about her tone, though, he had expected some kind of yelling or at least a mean word from her and he frankly didn't like this niceness, because it seemed to him like the calm before the storm. But one glance around her curiously watching friends told him to better play it cool before he had all of them on his case. So the only thing he said was:

"Likewise, Jude Harrison." Giving her his best panty dropping smile he shook her outstretched hand and almost groaned out loud when she squashed his hand in hers; a sure sign that there was more to come.

* * *

I hope you all had nice christmas holidays and enjoy the vacation.

I'm sorry for the long wait, but I hope it was worth it. To say the truth I haven't been busy over the last few months at least not more than usual, but I just was too lazy to write. I had these ideas, but it took too long to write them all down, so I kind of put it off until the next day and then the next day and so on.

As you may notice the writing in the middle is kind of stiff? (Don't know a better word at the moment) That's because I wrote the first part back in August and then started writing again yesterday morning and found out I wasn't really used to it anymore. But I think it got better as soon as I had written a few paragraphs.

Just like last time I have already ideas for the next chapter and this time I really try to put them down earlier. I was really amazed that nobody had written a mean review in the meantime, because I took so long, but I promise I'll do better this time.

Guten Rutsch! Happy New Year!

love,

Breakingaway.


	13. The Night that changes Everything

**I'm back, but I still don't own anything.**

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Tommy was amazed during dinner and later in Jude's apartment that they all had actual fun together. He found out that Jude's friends as annoying as they seemed to be, were pretty cool and fun to be around and he hoped that they thought the same about him. He, however, couldn't really enjoy their time, because he was always on edge out of fear that Jude would get back at him any moment now. He really tried to relax, but every time Jude came near him he tensed and waited for what she would do. Of course she didn't do anything, maybe throwing him a concerned look, because he looked so tense, but otherwise she did nothing. Eventually Tommy managed to relax slightly when Jude and Spied were participating in a jam session on Guitar Hero. They were both pretty good, maybe Spied a bit better than Jude, but of course he didn't say so. He wasn't a sucker for fighting after all.

Tommy's time to relax, however, was short-lived, because after their jam session, Spied and the other three bit their goodbyes and left to get ready in their hotel rooms, leaving Jude and him behind.

As soon as the door fell close behind them Tommy turned to Jude and opened his mouth to speak, but Jude raised her hand as an indication for him stay silent and turned around and walked into the kitchen. Tommy sighed and followed her. If he wanted to apologize it had to be on her terms, he was aware of that, but he wanted it to be over and done with and not delay it any longer.

Once in the kitchen Jude leaned on the counter top and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him.

"So that is how you spent your last two weeks? With Karma in the studio?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head, not knowing exactly what she was getting at.

"I know she can be quite difficult, but I still don't understand why you have been a jackass. I haven't done anything to you." Tommy leaned his head against the cupboard behind him and rubbed his hand over his face.

"I know Jude and I'm truly sorry. I was just under so much pressure from Jayson and from Karma's producer. You know if Karma's song becomes a hit, D, her producer, will put in a good word for me whenever I decide to work in Canada again. D is a really powerful man in the business, it will be like a job guarantee. However, if it becomes a flop, I'll never be able to gain ground as a producer in Canada. That thought kind of stressed me out and I get irritated very easily when I'm stressed and then you were angry and that made me even more angry. But you have to believe me that I'm truly sorry, Jude." He pleaded, walking forward to grab her hands. She let him take them in his and almost shivered from the emotion cursing through her body, caused by the familiar warm touch that she had missed so much.

"You were just stressed? That was the reason why you avoided me?" Jude asked incredulously, but she had to admit that that was the only reason and not some other woman. "I thought you had lost interest in me or something. That that was your way of showing me that you didn't want to meet me anymore."

"Oh God, no." Tommy shook his head vehemently. "I will never lose interest in you."

"How was I supposed to know that? I thought that maybe you had met a more interesting or experienced woman. Someone who knows how to dress sexy or how to flirt. I'm not like that, the only things I know about things like these is what Sadie told me once. I know that I'm not the normal kind of woman you hang out with, but- Tommy stop looking at me like that." She yelled frustrated at his apparent ogling.

"Like what?" Tommy asked innocently, still the same glimmer in his eyes.

"I don't know, I have no idea what that look means."

"Good, because it isn't PG. You're hot when you're angry" He grinned his panty dropping smile, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Stay serious, Tommy."

"I'm serious." She threw him a hard glare and he huffed. "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?"

"I missed you, too." She admitted. "But why didn't you just tell me about the photo shoot?" Tommy sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm not really sure anymore, but when you called I was so tired and not thinking clearly and then you were angry at me and I became angry at myself." He sighed again and grabbed Jude's hand. "And I just wanted this whole Karma-thing to be over and done with, so that I could spend some real time with you. You have no idea how much I missed, you girl." He slowly pushed a strain of hair out of her face and looked into her eyes. Jude felt the energy buzzing between them and felt herself lean in. With a quiet gasp from Jude their lips met in a passionate kiss. She put her arms around his neck and pulled on his hair, causing him to groan and pull her closer with one hand on her hip. The other hand roamed around her body, slipping slightly under her shirt, tracing patterns her back and then wandering around to her stomach. Jude opened her mouth at the sensation and Tommy used this opportunity to push his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues rubbed against each other, fuelling their desire for each other even more. Tommy lifted Jude on the counter without breaking their kiss, before letting the hand on her hip join the other under Jude's shirt. Jude locked her legs around his waist and pulled him as close to her as possible, rubbing her denim covered centre against the very prominent bulge in his trousers, causing them both to groan out loud and kiss more passionately. They only broke their kiss when Tommy felt Jude's cold finger slip under his shirt and pulled away slightly. Jude whimpered and opened her eyes, looking into Tommy's now almost black eyes. They were both panting heavenly and needed a minute before they could think clearly again.  
"Why did you stop?" She whispered not able to speak much louder.

"Because, we have to meet your friends at the club in about 40 minutes and if we had continued, I wouldn't have been able to stop and I didn't want the first time we do this to be under time pressure."

"Oh." Jude said blushing and bit her lip.

"Yeah, oh." Tommy grinned and nuzzled her neck before pressing a kiss under her ear and then stepped away from the counter. "I'm going to take a shower." He said before leaving the room.

Jude finally coming out of the stupor the kiss had left her in, touched her lip and grinned. "In your place I would take a cold one." She shouted after him, remembering the feel of his hard arousal pressing against her centre.

After two separate cold showers, getting dressed and a heavy make-out session in the bathroom, that Tommy had to stop again after a few minutes, they climbed into Tommy's Viper and drove to the club.

"You're not mad at me anymore, right?" Tommy asked as they entered the club's parking lot.

"Nah, but promise me you'll tell me when you're stressed next time instead of being a jackass."

"I promise." He answered smiling at her, before stepping out of the car. Jude followed suit and they made their way to the club's entrance. Jude looked at him startled when she felt his warm hand wrap around her small one, but Tommy kept his head straight and led her past at least two dozen people to the front of the queue. It was the same bouncer as the last time Jude was there and after eyeing them up and down he let them in. Inside it was already very crowded and they had trouble finding the others. Finally they spotted them in a booth in the back corner a bit separate from the rest.

"Why did you choose a booth this far away from the bar?" Jude asked while sitting down next to Kyle and therefor pulling Tommy next to her who hadn't let go of her hand yet. It would have been more comfortable if Tommy had sat down next to Wally, as there were now pressed against each other but they didn't really mind and Jude only scooted reluctantly further into the booth when the others made a bit more room for her, which caused Tommy to let go of her hand, but before she could be disappointed Tommy laid his hand on her thigh and started caressing it. Almost making Jude miss Spied's reply.

"It's Canadian evening tonight." He glanced with a raised eyebrow to Jude before quickly averting his eyes to Tommy when she shook her head in warning. Both of them looked around in surprise, having not noticed the red and white decoration and the maple leaves hanging from the ceiling before.

"Thanks man. You have no idea how many Boys Attacker there still are." Tommy said appreciatively. Of course thinking he was the biggest Canadian star in the room.

"And with Karma here as well we're sure to get noticed. Maybe a little later here in the corner than at the bar." Spied explained.

"And don't forget about J-" Wally started, but was cut off by two glares from Jude and Spied. "Ja...Ji...Jenny. Yes, Jenny. Our private waitress." He stuttered pointing at a blond girl coming in their direction, causing them all to turn around.

"That's Carla." Tommy corrected him. "She serves me everytime when I'm here. A favour from the owner."

"So she serves you every time, huh?" Wally said suggestively, waggling his eyebrows, but this time he was shut up by a glare from Tommy. Tommy quickly glanced at Jude, who had turned away from him trying to seem disinterest, but the way her hands clenched into fits betrayed the jealousy she felt.

"She is the girlfriend of the owner, so she certainly never served me in the way you are thinking about." Tommy almost growled at Wally, though more for the benefit of reassuring Jude. Although he couldn't deny that he really liked that she was jealous. It made clear that he wasn't the only one in this. Whatever this was.

"Hey, Carla." He greeted the waitress who seemed a bit surprised at his company.

"Hey, Tommy. This time without Owen and Leon?"

"Yeah, this are Wally, Kyle, Spied and Karma from Canada and I told you about Jude." Tommy introduced them quickly.

Carla nodded to them in greeting, but her eyes rested on Jude eyeing her sceptically before giving her a small smile, obviously approving of her for what Jude didn't know. She just smiled back hesitantly and then looked at Tommy confused. He, however, only grinned at her and squeezed her thigh reassuringly, obviously very happy about something.

"Aren't you here to take our orders?" Karma asked somewhat annoyed. Jude had noticed anyway that for some reason the otherwise very talkative diva hadn't said anything yet this evening.

"Of course." Carla answered not even faced by her tone and calmly wrote down their orders.

After that they just chatted and drank. Everybody having a good time, even Karma's mood seemed to get better, which could be because Spied couldn't take his fingers off of her or because of the amount of alcohol she had consumed. Anyway, she took great part in the conversation and Jude finally saw a side of her that she liked. Jude, herself, was in a even better mood than Karma, as had taken her hand again and was playing with her fingers under the table, intertwining them with his or simply caressing them and every now and then he nuzzle her neck and then kiss her under the ear, making her squirm every time. The others didn't seem to notice or they didn't care, only Spied had raised his eyebrow the first time it had happened and Jude had grinned sheepishly at him, causing him to shake his head in amusement.

Quite some time later, they were all already slightly inebriated Carla stepped up to their table, bringing them their drinks and telling them it was open mic night today, which caused a huge discussion on the table.

"Just let me know what you have decided in a few minutes." She offered when they still didn't agree on what to do. "But please remember only Canadian songs tonight, it's Canadian evening after all." With that she walked away, leaving them to discuss.

Karma of course wanted to perform, preferable her new single, but Tommy quickly forbade that.

"Karma, that would get us in serious trouble. You know that. D will have our ass."

"Tommy's right, hon. You know that you aren't allowed to perform the song until the single is officially released." Spied agreed.

"All right." Karma said, but still pouted. "But then I want to perform 'Waste my time'."

"That's okay." Spied reassured her, giving her a little peck on her pouting lips. "You want to play, too, Jude?" He asked suddenly, causing Jude who had just talked quietly to Kyle and Wally to turn her head to him.

"Huh? Me? No!"

"Why not?" Tommy asked confused at her angry tone. "You play great guitar and as much as I know you have a decent voice,"

Spied snorted. "A decent voice? Her voice is amazing." Jude glared at him. "Come on Jude. Just one song."

"No, I don't want to. You know why." Jude declined, shaking her head.

"I know, though I don't understand why." He replied.

"Why don't you want to sing?" Tommy asked her, very confused by the exchange between the two best friends.

"It's a long story. Fact is I don't want to sing anymore."

"Come on, Jude. I'll even do the background singer." Wally offered her and Kyle and Spied agreed with him.

And as even Karma tried to convince her to sing, she had to swallow the bitter pil, as you say, and agreed to sing. But only one song.

Spied went to tell Carla, while Tommy and Karma went to the toilette, separately of course, leaving Wally, Jude and Kyle alone. Thy discussed which song they would play and soon agreed on 'Not standing around' as they thought it would be the best one for this kind of a club.

When Tommy was heading back, always cautious of not being recognized, there was some kind of crowd on the bar and he had to wait to get through it. In front of him were two girls talking excitedly.

"You won't believe, who I just saw." The blond one said, before saying a name Tommy couldn't understand over the music.

"What no? Here?" The other one asked obviously amazed.

"Yeah. That's so cool. How great is that to meet a Canadian star in a club in New York?" The blond squealed excitedly. Tommy's eyes widened and he hid behind a column, from there he made his way to the booth, hoping the whole time that the girls wouldn't spread the word that he was there. If only 50 percent of the crowd inside the room knew him it would be impossible to continue having a nice evening. A few years ago he experienced something similar when he was at a ice hockey game here in New York against the Toronto Maple Leafs and someone recognized him. Suddenly there was this huge crowd around him and everybody wanted a photo or an autograph and the speakers started playing Pick up the Pieces and he had to leave the stadium to be left alone. And there were only around 40 Canadian fans all together.

Back at the booth, everyone had gone, only Karma was still sitting there, nipping on her pink cocktail.

"Hey, where's everyone?"

"They are setting up." Karma replied waving to the stage at the side of the club. It wasn't big and with the drum set set up there was hardly any room for anyone else.

Karma and Tommy sat in mostly silence until a light illuminated the stage and a short plump man entered.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our Canadian evening's open mic." The crowd cheered and the man bowed a bit, almost losing balance with his large belly.

"Our first participants are Jude Harrison and the Spiederman Mind Explosion with 'Not standing around' by ...ugh Jude Harrison." The man looked confused at the paper in his hands, obviously never before having had someone play their own song. Tommy was as surprised and confused as him. He knew that Jude was very musical and had a good sense for lyrics, he didn't know, however, that she had written a song herself.

The people inside the club seemed just as surprised as as soon as the man had spoken the words, people everywhere started to whisper among themselves.

The light dimmed slightly and you could see people walking on the stage. There was an eery silence in the club. All holding their breath, waiting for something. For what Tommy didn't know and he looked confused around him. Everyone was staring at the stage and even the bouncer seemed to have come in and stood at the door watching the stage with interest.

The light got brighter again and Tommy could see Jude standing at the front at the microphone.

"Hey, guys. We're Jude Harrison and the Spiederman Mind Explosion and we hope you enjoy our song." She said almost...hesitantly, it seemed to Tommy.

The first cords of a song that Tommy had never heard before started to play and suddenly the whole club was screaming and singing to the song. Tommy watched in amazement how Jude grew more confident the more she sang and soon she was dancing and jumping on the stage, belting out the song in sync with the whole club. It seemed as if everyone in the club had stood up and was now gyrating in front of the stage, having the time of their lives.

"Why does everybody know Jude's song?" Tommy asked Karma, who was with him the only one still sitting. She rolled her eyes and watched her fingernails in disinterest.

"Because it was number one for like 4 months." She said matter of factly, causing Tommy to frown in perplexity.

"Why would Jude's song be on number one?"

Karma sighed annoyed. "Because Jude is a star in Canada." Tommy laughed.

"That's nonsense, she can't be a star. She can sing yes and she plays her guitar like a pro, but she isn't famous or anything. I would have known her before." He stated sure of that, though Karma's honest expression, made him uncertain. "She would have told me." He whispered a wave of hurt crashing over him.

When Jude left the stage she felt like she was floating. The high from playing in front of so many people after such a long time still buzzing inside her body. She felt like she could take on the world. Though one look at Tommy, who was waiting for her behind the curtain, made her high disappear as quickly as it had come. His eyes were blazing with fury and his whole body was tense. But even though the anger was the most prominent emotion in his eyes, Jude could see the hurt he tried so hard to hide behind his anger.

"Tommy." She whispered carefully, slowly walking towards him., but he took a step backwards as if he couldn't bear to be near her right now. Which was probably true. "I can explain-" She started, before being interrupted by Tommy.

"Leave it. I'm just here to ask you if you have enough money for a cab ride on you." His words were harsh and cold, stunning Jude. He had never talked to her like that before. Even when he was angry at her or annoyed there was still a warm undertone that showed her he still in some way cared. But now even when his words indicated he still cared about her well being, his posture and tone showed that it didn't really matter. That maybe only obligation made him ask her.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't know yet. Away from here." He growled. "Do you have enough money?"

"Tommy." She pleaded. "Please let me explain."

"No." He yelled before digging a dollar note out of his jeans pocket, grabbing Jude's hand and smacking it on her palm. Then he turned around and left into the crowd. Leaving Jude standing there alone.

She didn't know how long she just stood there, staring into empty space. She didn't even register Karma doing her song, only as Spied, Wally and Kyle left the stage and almost knocked into her, came she out of her daze and noticed the club around her again.

"Hey, what are you doing, dude?" Spied asked, throwing his arm around her and stirring her back to their booth.

"Nothing." She said shaking her head and forced a smile. Back at the booth the others noticed that Tommy's jacket was missing and Jude told them that he had an early morning the next day. This lie wasn't very believable, as the next day was a Sunday and Tommy was known for his late nights, but they seemed to accept it and continued on with their night. Jude tried to act as if nothing happened, but she didn't succeed. Her thoughts would always go back to how mad Tommy had been at her and she wondered where he was right now. If he was safely at his apartment or in some other club or, Jude gulped, with another woman.

An hour later Jude couldn't take it anymore and said her goodbyes to the others, stating that she was tired. Spied accompanied her to the exit and waited with her on the sidewalk for the cab she had called.

"Is Tommy very mad?" Spied asked, when they leaned against the wall next to the door.

"Why would Tommy be mad?" Jude tried to act confused, though Spied saw right through her.

"Jude, Karma told me that she told Tommy the truth about you. I guess he wasn't happy."

"So Karma, huh?"

"It's not Karma's fault." Spied defended his girlfriend. "I didn't understand from the beginning why you just didn't tell him."

"I know." Jude sighed. "It just never was the right moment and later I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship. I would have told him eventually."

"So he is very mad?"

"Yeah, I think he feels betrayed." Jude turned towards Spied and he saw in her eyes how much it hurt her that she had hurt Tommy. "He has always had trust issues and I guess he trusted me and he feels hurt that I didn't trust him enough to tell him." Spied pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. "Oh, dude."

"What should I do, Spied?" Jude mumbled desperately.

"Just wait til tomorrow and maybe things will be different then. Give Tommy some time to cool down." Spied advised and Jude nodded in agreement. They stood in each others arms until the cab pulled up and they said their goodbyes with the promise to see each other tomorrow for lunch.

Back at her apartment quickly changed into her pyjamas and after brushing her teeth and scrubbing her face free from her make up, she fell into her bed. She stayed awake for a long time thinking about how Tommy and her had made up and had gotten into another fight in not even 12 hours. Eventually she fell asleep.

In the middle of the nigh she woke up to her door opening. She sat up and turned on her light. What she saw made her heart stutter. Tommy was looking down at her with his eyes half closed against the bright light. He was already only in his boxers and he looked like he was ready to fall asleep on the spot.

"Can I come in?" he asked in a such a tired and pleading tone, that Jude couldn't help it but nod and scoot over to make room for him. He laid down and nestled deep in the sheets, already warmed by her, so that only his head was visible.

"Tommy, what...I" Jude didn't know what to say, but Tommy shushed her anyway and pulled her down to him, so that she lay half on top of him.

"We talk tomorrow, okay?" He kissed her forehead and yawned, exhausted from the long day.

Jude nodded and snuggled closer to him, her head lying directly on his chest, she let his steady heartbeat lull her into a deep slumber.

The next morning Jude woke up to kisses being pressed to her eyelids and around her face. Groggily she opened her eyes and squinted against the sunlight shining into the room. Tommy, who was hovering over her, smiled down at her and kissed her softly on the lips. She whimpered slightly and opened her mouth to his probing tongue. Tommy pushed his tongue into her warm wet mouth and groaned when her tongue slid against his. Jude slid her hands over his back and shoulder to his chest, where she played with his light chest hair, making him shudder in pleasure. Tommy slowly slipped his hand under Jude's shirt and caressed her smooth skin, causing Jude's stomach muscles to clench. Then without warning Tommy backed away. That was now the second time in 24 hours and he had not idea how he did it either time.

"Tommy?" Jude looked confused over to him sitting at the end of the bed, breathing heavily.

"We have to talk first, Jude." Tommy reminded her and Jude sighed, but agreed. She curled up on the bed and hugged Tommy's outstretched legs.

"I'm sorry for not telling you." She mumbled.

"I know. What I don't understand is why you didn't."

"I didn't want to lose you." Tommy wanted to protest, but Jude stopped him. "I knew that you wouldn't have ended our friendship, because I'm famous. But you are the first guy that likes me as I am and I was afraid that that would change. Shay liked me because I had the same destiny as him. We both were two frightened kids that had been thrown into the business way to early. He didn't even care for the girl behind the music. With Jamie it was that he liked me for ever and he couldn't understand that I wasn't the naive 12 year old girl anymore that dreamt about changing the world with her songs. He didn't get that I had to grow up to be able to survive the music business. And you know how Spied and I am, we make great music together, but we don't click romantically. We're more like siblings." You took a deep breath and looked at Tommy. "You see, my past relationships were a disaster and between us everything was working great, I didn't want that to change, I didn't want you to see me any different. With you I could be me for the first time in years. I didn't have to think about how to behave so that nobody would frown at me and I could do some music with you without the constant pressure. You see why I didn't tell you?" Jude looked at him pleading him to understand. Tommy who had listened the whole time in silence, laid down beside her and pulled her to him.

"Yeah, I understand it now. Though it wouldn't have changed the way I see you if you had told me sooner. You're still just Jude Harrison. The girl, who is untidy to a fault and steals my t-shirts." Tommy teased and played with the hem of the shirt Jude wore, of course one of his. Jude giggled and Tommy pressed a kiss to her head, snuggling against her.

"It doesn't matter anyway." She said suddenly after a few minutes of silence. Tommy shifted, propped himself on his elbow and looked down at her.

"What doesn't matter?"

"That I am a star in Canada. Because I quit."

"You did what?" Tommy asked perplexed.

"I quit."

"If I remember it right, you can't just quit. When I tried to leave Boys Attack, my manager had threatened to sue me and I had to wait another two years until my contract was over."

"Well D had no other choice. It is better to release your artist from the contract than have a useless artist that costs you more than they bring in." Jude laughed humorlessly.

"Jude?" Tommy asked worried at her tone. "Why did D have to let you go?"

"It doesn't matter. It's a long story, Tommy." Averting his eyes from his, she tried to get up, but Tommy gripped her arm and pulled her back down on the bed.

"Please no more secrets, Jude." Jude nodded, took a big breath and started telling him about Patsy. How they met, what they did together, her talent and eventually how she died. Leaving nothing out, not the guilt she felt and that was only intensified by Jamie's accusations, not the depression that followed, not how she tried to hide it and not how she practically stopped living with Patsy. Tommy clung to her and throughout the story he tightened his hold, especially when she came to the part where she was alone at home and saw the knife.

"What did you do?" Tommy asked with a hoarse voice, struggling to suppress the tears he felt welling up.

"Nothing, the moment I wanted to grab it, my sister came back. She told me she had had a weird feeling and asked me if I was alright. That was when I broke down and told her everything. She called my dad and he called D and three weeks later I arrived in New York. D pulled a few strings so that I can still graduate and have a nice apartment and now I'm here." Jude concluded, feeling surprisingly liberated as if a huge weight had lifted from her. "Now I still have to decide on what to do with my future, but I still have time.

"Yeah, you do. And I'm glad you're here." Tommy nuzzled her hair and breathed her in. Relishing the feeling of having her in his arms, trying not to think about how easily they could have never met. "You know, though, Jude, that Patsy's death wasn't your fault, right?" When Jude stayed quiet, he turned her on her back and leaned over her. "Jude?" He noticed the tears in her eyes and whipped them away with the pad of his thumb. "You couldn't have saved her, even if you or Jamie had stopped her. As I understood from your story she was very strong headed and hurt. You wouldn't have been able to save her. It seems to me like she was tired of everything, she would have died one way or another."

"Jamie doesn't seem to think so." Jude sniffled.

"Jamie is a fool to throw away your friendship, just because he can't admit to himself that he couldn't save her like he wanted to. Maybe one day he will realize the truth and you will get a chance to reconcile." Tommy made her hope and she smiled slightly.

"You know that Jamie is my ex-boyfriend, right?" She teased, her mood increasing slightly.

"I guessed that they were the same, yes. Though I think he has no chance against me." He said confidently, puffing his chest.

"You? So you're my boyfriend now?" Tommy stiffened.

"If you want?" The look on his face was so unsure and nervous that Jude couldn't help it but smile.

"I want."

"Me too." Tommy leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. "But promise me something. If you ever feel depressed, please come to me. Please don't ever think about" his voice cracked, "dying again."

"I promise." Tommy captured her lips in passionate kiss and slipped his hand under her shirt again, continuing were they had stopped over an hour ago.

* * *

**To everyone who's still reading.**

**Happy New Year and Happy Easter, Everyone. ;) I hope everyone has/ had a nice summer vacation. Mine was great so far and as you can see I finished the next chapter. Yeah.**

**I won't apologize for the long wait, because I'm not sure if anyone is going to believe me and I won't promise to update sooner next time either. **

**When I first started the chapter in December I was very frustrated that I couldn't write the things as I imagined them in my head and stopped writing because of that. Now one week ago, I wanted to all tell you that this story would be on hiatus. Before that, however I opened the story again and read what I had written for this chapter and was amazed that it wasn't as bad as I had made it out to be in my mind all those months. So I started writing again.**

** I really hope over 5500 words (without A/N) make up at least a little bit for the long wait. And I hope the content satisfied you as well.**

**Now you all know how deep Jude's depression was and why D let her go. If you ever wondered. ;) **

**I once again tried myself at a make out scene (I know they're always interrupted) I think I get better at it, if you agree or think otherwise please tell me. Maybe next chapter there will be an uninterrupted one. We'll see. :D  
**

**Finally Tommy and Jude agreed on being together, if you think that's the end you're wrong. You know with them it's always up and down and up and down. Though I think for the next few chapters it will all very fluff. At least until January, and we're in September in the story right now. So there is still Jude's birthday and Christmas. I think we and them could all use some happy times after the constant figting in the last chapters.  
**

**To all of you who aren't too mad at me, please review. I still like them. **

**love, Breakingaway**


	14. Passing Time

Four days later, while Jude was taking SME to the airport, Tommy was on his way to the studio. He had been off for the last few days as his new artist had only arrived yesterday and to say he looked forward to working again would be a lie.

He had really enjoyed the days he spent with Jude and SME, more than he thought. Even the touristy things he normally found boring had been fun when doing them with Jude. She had a quirky sense of humour and to see her this carefree and happy, had made him happy as well.

When Jude had told him about her attempted suicide, he had been more than shocked. He had been terrified. To imagine that he could have never met Jude. That she had been so desperate that she wanted to kill herself. It had broken his heart.

Tommy had always felt as if something was wrong with her. A subtle sadness inside her eyes, when she didn't know he was looking had clued him in. But he had thought that it was something more mundane. A fight with her parents, a lost love. Something that every teenager had to experience someday, something that he had experienced as well, but never something this severe. This dramatic.

Even now days later he couldn't think about what had happened if Jude's sister hadn't come back home. It made him want to scream, instead he usually hugged her to him or called her when she was not with him. It slightly calmed him down. And she even tried to reassure him that he didn't have to fear anything, but there was nothing better than seeing her smile to calm him down completely. Then he knew that she was absolutely happy again and that there really was nothing to fear anymore.

Finally arriving at the studio, Tommy tried to push his thought to the back of his mind and focus on the task at hand. He had a rock 'n roll album to record and two other artists waiting in line for him to have time for them. Karma's album had brought him respect in the music industry and now he had the ability to choose which album he would like to produce and which one he wouldn't. Of course Jason still had the last say, but he usually agreed with Tommy.

His new artist, Nic, was a cool kid, he had met him in Los Angeles and was immediately excited to work with him. He he had never done a rock 'n roll album before and as he loved new challenges, he was thrilled when Nic signed the contract and it was scheduled for him to come after Karma's album was finished. But now all he wanted to do was turn around, go home and wait for Jude to come back from the airport.

Home to them was his apartment, over the last few days Jude had practically moved in with him. They hadn't really talked about it, but Jude had moved gradually almost all of the things she needed for living into his apartment. When Jude had asked where she was allowed to put her photos from her family and friends and he had told her to put them on the mantelpiece next his few photos, the meaning of that was clear to both of them.

Tommy liked Jude having living with him. He would have thought he would freak out, that he would think it was too fast, too soon, but these thoughts never came. Living with her wasn't that different from before, though, they had already shared bed and bathroom and had spent most of their time together. The only difference was that they didn't alternate between his and her apartment anymore and that Jude now had her tutoring classes at his as well.

Opening the door to the studio, he saw that Owen was already there. Tommy knew that he had neglected his best friend the last few weeks. Sure they had spent weeks together working on Karma's album, but with all the stress revolving around that and his drama with Jude they never had a moment to speak privately let alone go to a bar together. Tommy hoped that they could make up for that in the coming weeks.

He sat down next to Owen, letting his bag fall on the floor. Inside the recording booth, he could see Nic tuning his guitar. He seemed to be concentrated, so Tommy didn't greeted him yet, but turned to Owen.

"So how did you spend your days off?"

"My parents were there for the weekend and we managed to see a few more houses." Owen and Sarah were looking for a house in a quieter neighbourhood. They currently lived in an apartment in Lower East Side, it was spacious enough for a baby, but Owen and Sarah didn't want to raise their child in the middle of The City.

"And you? Did Jude and you make up?" Owen asked, before quickly making sure that Nic was still preoccupied.

"Yeah, it turned out that Karma is actually the girlfriend of Jude's best friend. Yeah I know small world. So Jude and her friends were at the shooting the whole time. We went out afterwards to a club and then the morning after had a talk. We're dating now." Tommy grinned happily, he could hardly believe it himself how happy and calm he was about everything that way going on.

"Like really officially dating?"

"Yeah, Jude is practically moved in with me now." Tommy told him almost proudly.

"Wow, and you're okay with that?" Tommy nodded. "Who are you and what did you do with Tommy the commitment phobic?" Tommy shrugged his shoulder, still grinning like a fool. Owen laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. He had been worried about Tommy over the years. He had thought that one day Tommy's way of coping with his past would destroy him. Now to see him that happy and in a committed relationship, he couldn't be more happy for his best friend. He would never outrightly tell him, but he was even a bit proud of Tommy for once fighting for what he wanted instead of drowning everything he was feeling in alcohol and cheap women.  
Glancing at his best friend from the corner of his eye, he could see him typing on his phone grinning almost stupidly now and he knew that as long as Tommy didn't fuck up majorly, this could be forever.

Jude pushed open the door to the record building and entered. It was now close to dinner time and she knew that when Tommy started working on a new album he would forget everything around him, that was why she had bought dinner for him and the others around. She didn't know much about Tommy's new artist, as he hadn't wanted to talk about work on the weekend, but she could feel this morning that Tommy was a bit excited to work with him, even though he hadn't wanted to admit that to himself.

Jude hoped that Tommy would be able to come home with her after dinner, she had had a tiring day and she wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch with him and watch the photos of this weekend that she had printed out this afternoon. She knew, however, that just as easily she could return home alone and Tommy would arrive sometime in the middle of the night. She would have to accept that as well, but now that Tommy and her were officially together she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. She really hoped he felt the same.

Knocking on the studio door, she waited a moment before entering. The first thing she saw were Tommy and Owen hunched over the mixing desk, headphones on, pushing rulers. She smiled at their concentrated faces and quietly sat down on the couch, not wanting to disturb them. From where she sat behind Tommy and Owen she could look into the recording booth, where a young guy, probably not older than 16, sat close to the microphone singing and playing guitar. She couldn't hear him, but he seemed to sing with great passion.

After a few minutes, Tommy put his headphones down, stopped the recording and motioned for the boy to come inside. She could see that they hadn't noticed her coming in, so she sneaked over to Tommy and put her hands over his eyes.

"Guess who?" It was just a Sadie thing to do, but she couldn't help herself. Tommy turned around and grinned up at her.

"Hey, Bright Eyes." He put his hands around her waist and pulled her to him for a quick kiss, that quickly turned deeper.

"Hey, handsome." She said, when they broke apart again for air, before closing the gap between their lips again. She loved the feel of his soft lips on hers. The feel of his tongue probing her mouth with so much passion that she forgot to breath. His hands on her waist, tenderly caressing the slightly uncovered part of her back. When he kissed her she could forget everything around her. This time was no difference, they only broke apart, when Owen cleared his throat behind them, reminding them that there were more people in the room.

Jude straightened again and smoothed down her shirt. She was still panting and her cheeks and neck were blushed.

"Nice to see you again, Jude." Owen smirked and motioned to the guy standing behind him, who was blushing as well obviously embarrassed by what he has just witnessed. "That is Nic, our new artist. Nic, that is Jude Harrison, Tommy's girlfriend if you haven't figured that out by now." Jude and Nic shook hands, both smiling slightly.

"I brought food." Jude exclaimed, remembering her reason for coming, except seeing Tommy of course. The guys all groaned in delight and pounced on it as soon Jude put the bags down in front of them. Within moments that had eaten all there was to eat and were leaning back in their chairs fully sated.

"You have already eaten, haven't you?" Tommy asked as an afterthought and Jude had to chuckle. How considerate of her boyfriend to think of her after they had eaten everything.

"No, but I'll make myself something at home." She sat down on Tommy's lap and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "Are you able to come with me or do you have to stay?" She looked up when Tommy sighed. She knew the look on his face, there was still something he wasn't 100 percent satisfied with yet. Now it was Jude's turn to sigh. Even though she told herself to accept his decision, she couldn't help to be a bit disappointed.

Standing up, she gathered the empty bags and her purse and was about to lean down to Tommy to kiss him goodbye, when he stood up as well. He grabbed the bags from her and gave her a short peck when she looked at him shocked, before turning to the other two men.

"Good work, Nic. Owen you too. We'll see each other tomorrow at 8 am sharp. Okay?" they nodded and stood up as well, getting also ready to go. "Good night." With that said Tommy linked fingers with Jude and practically pulled her to the exit. Despite the reluctance to go she had thought to have seen on his face just moments ago, he was now eager to go home. Once out of the building, Tommy slowed down a bit and they sauntered to the parking lot where Tommy beloved Viper stood.

"How was your day?" Tommy asked when they were seated and on their way.

"Tiring. I had a session with David, my final test are coming up and he had me doing task after task." To underline how exhausted she was, she yawned and then snuggled into the seat. Tommy's hand was placed on her tight and she absentmindedly played with it. "Oh yeah, and I printed out some photos from our bungee jump." On Saturday, Tommy and her had finally redeemed the gift certificate Jude had given to Tommy on his birthday. They had jumped together from a bridge near New York, it was the most freeing but also terrifying experience Jude had ever had.

"Are they any good?"

"Yeah, Spied was able to capture the moment we jumped. It looks really cool. Maybe we could have it enlarged and hang it in the living-room?" She asked quietly suddenly timid. Other than Tommy, she wasn't as sure yet where they stood. Sure he had agreed to be her boyfriend and he hadn't said anything when she had brought over more of her things, but she wasn't sure how he would react to things such as redecorating his living-room. She was still waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. She hadn't needed to worry though, as he only squeezed her hand and said:

"You don't have to ask. If you want it there we can do that." As they were standing at a traffic light, he leaned down and kissed her softly, causing her to get lost in him again. That was the moment that Jude realized that she wasn't only attracted to Tommy, but that somehow over the past two months the unbelievable had happened. She, Jude Harrison, had fallen in love with Little Tommy Q.

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That was Chapter 14 I know it is short and there isn't really something major happening, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway.

The next chapter will be Jude's 18th birthday.

Reviews are always appreciated.

Lots of Love Breakingaway.


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